Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?
Spiritual Armor
Bluesky31:
I think just believing this is ineffective. You have to "feel" this love and protection or its just blind belief .. you might as well believe in fairies! When you are depressed you cant feel anything. Only God can give you this feeling of his protection being real and he doesnt more often than not.
I too believe in God .. but it has to be powerful and "real" or its pointless
Certain Hope:
Dear Ami,
Just as God sent your sister in Christ, Maria, to you, He is sending you to others in order to touch their hearts with His love and grace. Thank you for your note to me. It's been ages since I've read here, but God knew that this was the time for me to hear from you... and to read the other posts on this thread. You've helped me tremendously!
What you wrote in your post here yesterday is the truth, Ami.
Jesus is the answer to every question and the fulfillment of every need we have.
He's not only there for you... He's there in you, because you are born again from above.
He will never, ever leave you or forsake you... and He will never, ever lie to you.
I understand that fear of which you speak. At times it still threatens to overwhelm me, but I know the source of it and he's a loser... the original N... the one who thought that he could be "good", without God. One of my favorite teachers says, "The only ground the devil can't take is what you're standing on." Not very good grammar, but he gets the point across :)
Standing on the solid Rock of Christ is the very best and safest ground of all.
The Lord bless and keep you, Ami... and each one of you who's posted here. Thank you!
With love,
Hope
P.S. A good saying to remember... God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. He's not waiting for some day when you've got yourself all cleaned up to be of use to Him. HE is the one who does the cleaning. Hugs.
legalmom:
:? i agree that as a Christan, i am supposed to forgive and love my husband--But i am SO tired of forgiving him-again,again,and again.....
i ask god DAILY to please deal with him, to have mercy on him-because(in truth) I Don't want to be merciful to him anymore..i don't want to rollover and say-thats OK dear..
I'm here as your doormat, and play pretend to everyone until he trips his mental switch again..
his mentality is " i got over it, why cant you.. you are the crazy one, you are the one with the problems "attitude" as he calls it.." he cant understand WHY I'm still hurt and defensive day-after-day....why i "make myself feel this way"....
But he goes to church,volunteers, puts on a good show and puffs up and brags about His family,(my accomplishments) and What he is Doing to support and help His family...*cue-pat on back*...
thats the rub..I'm in this relationship trying to honor gods word,be faithful,strong and forgiving( and not walk out like my mom did 4 times) but living with this monster of a narcissist....
When do i get to be happy in this??? i don't know what god wants me to do anymore..... stay and be honorable, or try to leave and start all over again..i feel like i am breaking my word/vows to god by leaving....
Michael:
SOME biblical particulars on spiritual armour
2co 6:7 By the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armour of righteousness on the right hand and on the left,
by the armour of righteousness, on the right hand, and on the left:
meaning, either the whole armour of God, with which a Christian is all over clothed from head to foot, and in the strength of Christ may engage any adversary without fear; or else particularly the sword of the Spirit in the right hand, and the shield of faith in the left, whereby both the offensive and defensive part may be acted; or, as others think, uprightness of conscience, and holiness of life and conversation; with which being blessed, though on the one hand he meets with prosperity, and on the other hand with adversity, he is not lifted up with the one, nor cast down with the other; he is moved by neither, but passes on unconcerned.
romans-- 13:12The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.
13Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
14But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.
12The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.
13Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
14But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.
and let us put on the armour of light;
the whole armour of God, the use of which lies in the exercise of grace, and discharge of duty; particularly good works are designed here, which though they are not the believer's clothing, his robe of justifying righteousness, they are both his ornament and his armour; by which he adorns the doctrine of Christ, and defends his own character and principles against the charges find calumnies of then: these being performed aright, spring from the light of grace in a regenerate man, and are such as will bear the light to be seen of men; and are the lights which are to shine before men, that they beholding them, may glorify God; so virtue was by Antisthenes , called (anafaireton oplon) , "armour which cannot be taken away": the allusion is thought to be to the bright and glittering armour of the Romans; the Alexandrian copy reads, "the words of light".
ephesians 6: 10Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
11Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
15And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
18Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
19And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,
20For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
EPH 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God…
Not that which God himself is sometimes clothed with, and uses against his enemies; but what he has provided for his people, and furnishes them with; the particulars of which are after mentioned: and it is called "the armour of God", because it is prepared by him for his people, and is bestowed on them by him; and because it is in its own nature divine and spiritual, and not carnal; and because it is provided for fighting the Lord's battles, and is used in them; and because the efficacy of it is from him, and the execution it does is owing to him: and it is whole, complete, and perfect; and all of it is useful, and no part to be neglected, but all to be taken and "put on"; which is not to make and provide this armour, but to take it, as in (Ephesians 6:13) ; as being ready made and provided, and to expect and prepare for battle, and make use of it; and this supposes saints to be in a warfare state, and that they are in the character of soldiers, and have enemies to fight with, and therefore should be accoutred with proper and suitable armour, to meet them:
EPH 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood…
The Syriac, Arabic, and Ethiopic versions, and some copies, read "you", instead of "we". This is a reason why saints should be strong in the Lord, and why they should put on the whole armour of God, and prepare for battle, since their enemies are such as here described: not "flesh and blood"; frail mortal men, such as were wrestled against in the Olympic games, to which the apostle alludes. For this wrestling, as Philo the Jew says , concerning Jacob's wrestling, is not of the body, but of the soul; see (Matthew 16:17) (Galatians 1:16) ; and the meaning is, not with men only, for otherwise the saints have a conflict with men; with profane men, and wrestle against them, by bearing a testimony against their enormities, and by patiently enduring their reproaches, and conquer them by a constant adherence to Christ, and an exercise of faith upon him, which gets the victory over the world; and with heretical men, and maintain a conflict with them, by watching and observing the first appearance of their errors and heresies, and declaring against them, and by using Scripture arguments to confute them, and by rejecting the stubborn and incorrigible from church communion: yet they wrestle not against these only,
but against principalities, against powers;
by whom are meant not civil magistrates, or the Roman governors, though these are sometimes so called, (Titus 3:1) , and may be said to be the rulers of the darkness of this world, or of the dark Heathen world, and were in high places, and were of wicked and malicious spirits, against the people of Christ; yet these cannot be opposed to flesh and blood, or to men, since they were such themselves; and though they were in high, yet not in heavenly places; and the connection with the preceding verse shows the contrary, the enemy being the devil, and the armour spiritual; wherefore the devils are here designed, who are described from their power, rule, and government, (See Gill on Ephesians 1:21), both in this clause, and in the next:
and against the rulers of the darkness of this world;
that is, over wicked men in it, who are in a state of darkness itself; and so Satan is called the prince, and god of the world, (John 12:31) (2 Corinthians 4:4) . The Jews use this very word, the apostle does here, of the angel of death; who is called darkness ; and the devil is called by them, (Kvwx lv rv) , "the prince of darkness" ; and mention is made by them of (amle ykwvx) , "the darkness of the world" ; from whom the apostle seems to have taken these phrases, as being in common use among the Jews; who also use it of civil governors , and render it, as here, "the rulers of the world", and say it signifies monarchs, such as rule from one end of the world to the other : some copies, and the Ethiopic version, leave out the phrase, of this world. It follows,
and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
in allusion to (Isaiah 59:17) , meaning not works of righteousness done by men, though these are a fence when rightly used against the reproaches and charges of the enemy, as they were by Samuel, (1 Samuel 12:3) , but rather the graces of faith and love, (1 Thessalonians 5:8) , though faith has another place in the Christian armour, afterwards mentioned; wherefore it seems best to understand this of the righteousness of Christ, which being imputed by God, and received by faith, is a guard against, and repels the accusations and charges of Satan, and is a security from all wrath and condemnation.
FROM JOHN GILL'S EXPOSITION OF THE BIBLE 1887
Certain Hope:
Michael, thanks for the exposition!
The expression "armor of Light" is indeed fitting, as the Light of Christ
drives away the darkness.
To Legal Mom,
After reading through your other posts on the board, I just wanted to say... forgiving your husband does not mean forgetting his wrong choices and actions. Nor does it mean ignoring the pattern of behavior which he has displayed.
In my opinion, pathological narcissism is not a mental illness. I view N'ism as the consequence of a conscious decision on the part of a human being to worship himself, to the point where he chooses to deny reality lest his fantasy-world be destroyed. In other words, I believe that the truly pathological narcissist is a reprobate, by his own choice - forever separated from all that is good and true.
I say this because it's my understanding that mental illness is not Biblical justification for divorce. Abandonment is. Nobody abandons another like N does... all that's present in your home is an empty shell who wants to turn you into an empty vessel like himself.
Also, loving a person does not mean rolling over and saying, "that's okay, dear". In truth, loving another with God's kind of love includes holding him accountable.
But when you do that, and when N knows that you really mean it and that you have God in and with you backing you up (and he will know), that's when it gets tricky. If you do not now feel prepared to flee at that moment to a place where N cannot find you, please know that God makes a way where we see none. If you are in Christ, you have stuff in you that you don't even know is there, sister :)
And something else... I spent alot of years trying to prove that I could do what had not been done before. What I found is that trying not to be like Mom is a dead-end road that can lead to many damaging, defeating choices. You don't have to base your life on trying to do better than anyone... whether that's your mom or a sibling or even trying to improve on your own past patterns.
Identification with Christ is the key to this. The only way to break the bonds of the flesh is by and through the Spirit.
Well, thanks for listening... and I hope this helps.
Sometimes we get it stuck in our heads that God wants this or that... and all the while He's just trying to get us to lean on Him alone, so that He can lead us to a place we cannot even envision. All I know is - He is much bigger than I ever imagined... and He is so very good! You can trust Him.
With love,
Hope
P.S. Hugs to you, Ami... your words are full of wisdom and truth.
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