Hi RM:
That's just not my heart." From there it went to, "I can't BELIEVE you don't know me better than that, than to think my heart was to hurt
I think sometimes when people talk about their intentions, they're telling the truth. Other times, people talk about their intentions as a you-can't-refute-THIS kind of move. Because it's true, only we can know our own intentions. That's why the "you" messages never work (You enjoy hurting me, you don't care about me, you think...etc.). We can't say that.
But it's interesting that the "my intention" answer can be true, or weasely. Or maybe something in between when even the hurter doesn't know. So discernment, intution, and most of all--behavior, are our best clues and shields, I think. If you find yourself in real pain with someone, maybe it does'nt matter what their intention was. Perhaps one episode of great hurt actually teaches you something important. If it's a pattern...I'd make tracks. (As you did, thank goodness.)
I like this, Hope:
my best protection against further wounding is not to declare each hurt and look for satisfaction, but rather to learn how not to pick up offenses in the first place.
Write, "the mileage test" is a great nugget. Thanks for this.
Stormy, I feel lucky to learn from you.
We can go by the fruits we see, but that mostly helps us avoid the most obviously dishonest. It doesn't help us determine what the honest may, deep in their hearts, sometimes in a place where they have no words for it, actually believe.
And speaking of snakes, I'm sad the Crocodile Hunter got killed by a stingray today.
I used to find him ludicrous and annoying until I realized how much good he was doing for environmental awareness. And so many children will be crushed.
(On behalf of reptiles and amphibians everywhere, I hoist my tea to Steve Irwin, may he RIP.)
Crikey!
Hops
