Where Things Stand... A Ramble

[ANewSheriff]

Beth:

Sometimes she wants to talk about them, and sometimes I have to be very careful about what I say to her, as she can start to make me feel I am making thisng worse than they are (I really don't... I stick to the facts, I mention acts, not feelings).

This happens to me frequently with my sister, too.  She is on the team.  She is off.  She is on the team.  She is off.  Not long ago I confronted her on this.  I stuck to the facts.  She had no choice but to acknowledge her inconsistenceis.  She actually did apologize. 

You definitely had an educating summer with regards to your family.  I think you have made leaps and bounds of progress.  I guess jac put it best when she said that there is just a resignation we come to with all this.   

ANS   

[gratitude28]

Hi Tavia and Welcome!!!
I haven't read Dr. Laura's book yet, but I listen to her as often as I can on the radio and have heard a lot of what she has to say on the subjuect (and she has helped me separate a ton from the feelings I had associated with my parents).

ANS,
Thank you for adding that. I wasn't sure if my eggshells were of my own making. But you are exactly right about the "team" thing. My sister can turn very self-centered very quickly. Especially when it comes to her relationship with her husband (a know-it-all-I-don't-follow-the-rules-normal-humas-do type) whom she must have doubts about and therefore protects... I feel sorry for her. She seems so confused and yet quick to cover those she is confused about.

It's been two weeks since I talked to my parents. I am not going to call or write. There is nothing to talk about. I always do it out of guilt... but I was thinking, why do I have to always be the one to make contact???? Before it was because I felt I had to fulfill the daughterly duty. I just don't feel like it.

Thanks all.
Love, Beth