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My final rant - Perhaps you can relate

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CC:
I really liked your rant.  It was so expressive of the pain you are feeling.  Please continue whenever you want.  I think most of us can feel along with you.

ranting:
I am stunned at how much this is effecting me.  It's not like he hasn't done it before.  Why does it feel just as bad this time?  Because hope springs eternal?  Because I can't imagine anyone functioning that way, and therefore I deny it is the truth?  Such an ugly truth.  I thought I was past it.  I distanced myself for 6 weeks.  And in one hour, I am devastated all over again.  I am not okay right now.

But I will be.  Eventually.

Thanks everyone,  

I did have one thought today...that in the midst of the pain, it is a good thing I can feel it.  I know I can love.

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