Hi, Beth,
Just a couple of thoughts...
My brother is very N'ish and self absorbed. He will openly ridicule our mother (whom he always has referred to as "YOUR mother") and yet freely call on her for help when it suits him. He is not quite so blatant about his disrespect of our Dad, but he's made it clear on many occasions that he considers our father an ignorant buffoon. Not so ignorant that he can't maintain my brother's 2nd home and all of the equipment involved in that maintenance (brother refers to dad as the "caretaker"). Basically, he is an equal opportunity mocker and willing to use anyone to get his own needs met, so he's a "team" of one... and he's the star player.
For myself, I've been a team-switcher at various times throughout my life, and I think in large part that's due to the fact that I recognize portions of myself in others and can't blame them for something that I know is a weakness of my own. I could never join in my brother's disrespect of our parents because I knew that he'd sell me down the river if he could benefit from that somehow.
With friends... I've been in situations where Friend A didn't like Friend B and then, because I continued to relate to B, A would get upset with me and distance herself. I've also been in the position where I thought B was a total jerk and I saw no benefit whatsoever in continuing to interact, but A seemed to step up the interactions in determination to throw me together with B at every opportunity.
And you know what? I bought myself a T-shirt. It says, "I don't do drama". And I give up trying to figure out why anyone does anything and just try to live and let live. It's all I can do without getting caught up in the same tangled mess that had me tripped up for the first 40 years of my life.
Not much of an answer, huh. (((((((Beth)))))))
Much love,
Hope
