Honestly, Portia, your points are so good. Even David learned to understand that the things his N-mother did, were because SHE too was abused, yet, unlike him, she had NOBODY to talk to about her problems and struggles, and so, she internalized them and later took things out on him.
That’s interesting. Do you think most abuse is passed down from the parents - that each abused child has the potential within them to either (1) become an abuser (as Dave’s mother did) or (2) to break the cycle as Dave did?
Both actually. I believe that children who are abused, very often grow up to imitate that abuse in some form. I also believe that each person has a opportunity to break that cycle if they choose.
In my case, my mother was a "face-slapper" "wash mouth out with soap" type.
When I had my first daughter, I used soap with her as well as slapping...one day a slap on the leg turned to a punch. Immediately, when that happened, I ran into the other room and called 911. They hooked me up with a life-saving group called PARENTS ANONYMOUS, who came to my house and talked gently with and listened to me, and showed me non-invasive ways to handle my 2 year old's temper tantrums, without losing my patience. They came every week for a long time and taught me about using a big box to make a stove for Carol to play with, using time outs, etc. David's mother did not have access to such things, as the people back then, believed that any form of "discipline" that went on behind closed doors, was perfectly acceptable and the "Family's business" Thank GOD times have been changing and children are being heard and SAVED!
~Laura
