Hey guys,
I'm in California so let's gather around the granola bowl and trail mix and have a chat. Watch out for that Kool-Aid
it has quite a kick to it. So...how's our aura today? I was, like, reading the thread about Why Be Guest? There's, like, a lot of anger here? So I thought, like, WWJD?
OK, seriously (even though I'm Californian I can't, like, keep that voice going for very long?
). Just want to observe that I think although some vary in their opinions about benefits/downsides of signing on as Guest, the main overriding concern of all is to create a
safe place to speak, be heard, and listen. Kind of interesting because it's like a meta-issue of voicelessness and invisibility...(
huh?)
Yes, some of us are paranoid (due to longtime exposure to N)
Some of us are angry (due to longtime exposure to N)
Some of us are sad (due to...)
Some of us are quiet.......etc etc.
I read somewhere in some anger management/conflict resolution thingie that the gloves really come off in a fight when the comments turn to
evaluating someone else's character. This REALLY helped me to know and stay calm when having a discussion/argument/fight with my H. (And he's not even N). When winning becomes more important than solving the problem. A strategy to use to defuse the situation (if one can remember in the heat of battle) is to ask the other person (and ourselves) "what do you/I want?"
So...what do we want? My opinion is we want a safe board. Some of us are Nish as well as victims of N so non-Ns get a little skittish and/or want to chase any Nness away. I think this a natural desire, but futile, until one of us invents an N-free incense stick or empathy injection. As PP posted elsewhere, resistance will make us stronger.** We can use everyone's mistakes as a point of learning and a chance to try out a different way of responding.
(as if!)So Group Hug everybody. Love you all and thank you for letting me express myself, be myself on this board.
OK, dude, where's my Kharma?
Seeker
**Anybody remember Wild Kingdom? "Watch Bill as he wrestles the boa constrictor and inject it with Empathy" Go Bill Go! (I've, like, spent way too much time on this board? TTNF)
