October, I am horrified:
takes their anger out on boys as young as three and four, and hits them with all the force of a grown adult onto a child. And the emotional abuse is even worse
You are a HERO for reporting them. No, your brother will never forgive you, and the hope of being loved by him in a visible way is probably gone. If he is capable.
If there were some way to KEEP reporting him, that would be good too. The children matter.
Is there any way you can contact a neighbor of theirs, and ask them to watch for child abuse, and give them the number they can call anonymously? This is something you would not need to tell anyone else about, unless you were testifying in court. My thought would be to contact a neighbor and keep it simple:
I am the aunt of the two little boys who live next door to you. I have seen my brother hit them with great force, and I'm worried about their safety. If you see or hear children being beaten next door, please call this number: XXXXX.
October, please don't doubt yourself. This must be such a painful thing to be involved in and aware of. But it's happening all around us all, in every neighborhood. As you work on your healing, I hope you can gradually become intentionally detached about this...trying not to feel your own pain in it (though I totally understand why it triggers it). But to have a hope of slowing the abuse, such as by contacting all his close neighbors, it might work better to have the attitude of someone who is reporting a dangerous dog on the loose.
It may not be the dog's fault there's something in its brain that makes it dangerous, but you are firm in your understanding that it is correct and necessary to call the ASPCA.
(And, you will of course turn to a reliable and trustworthy gentle dog to get your dog-love.)
It makes me sad that you must let go of hopes of brother love. (I had to, as well, though it's come back in limited ways after decades.) For now, October, your brotherly love must come from finding the men in your life or church or volunteer circle who are
brotherly.
He is not. And what trumps that, which only you have been beautiful, self-sacrificing and courageous enough to face the reality of.....is that
he is not fatherly.
with love and thanks to you on behalf of any struck child,
Hops
