Write, it's the list!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for typing the whole thing out.
That list has had an enormous impact on me.
I agree with Brig that it's the ideal, not the practical...but when you've experienced the polar opposite of so many of the concepts on the list, it's a wonderful, wonderful guide, imo.
It has helped me navigate through a lot of emotional confusion.
It's the vision I hold as what I want to be in relationship.
And knee-buckling respect to you, Write, for identifying your own fears of intimacy. I understand the awakening about contradictory feelings. You know you want closeness yet it doesn't fit the ingrained image your childhood built.
The beautiful thing happening in our lives, imo, is that we're all unbuilding, rebuilding, starting from new foundations, choosing our own materials, knocking things down and building them up. We are our own architects and much as a fine architect will work with what's strong in a site or structure even while knocking down the rest...we can do the same with what we were bred to be and what we believe in being.
Maybe none of us ever personify The List. I doubt that Schaefer herself does it perfectly. But I am so grateful to her for articulating the vision of healthy intimacy.
Hope it helps many as much as it's helped me.
love,
Hops
