Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
sKePTiKal:
ooooooh. WELL DONE Hops.
I still piles to go through... and distribute.
teartracks:
Hops,
Whew! :lol:
tt
Twoapenny:
Hops I am so happy to read that you did this and it is finally OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!!!!
I know you say there is more to do but you must be feeling relieved that this big obstacle is finally shifting! I know when we've done house moves before the sheer amount of work that needs doing - by a certain date and time - is just so overwhelming. Like you, I always wanted someone else to come help me - not necessarily because I couldn't do it by myself but just because it's nice to feel like someone gives a s**t, you know? Everything is quicker if someone comes and helps, and it's really nice to stop and have a cup of tea with someone when you take a break instead of standing there on your own.
I'm glad you've got rid of some of that stuff and hope that the rest of it is easier to clear out now. Still wish I were a neighbour of yours who could have come and given you a hand xx
Hopalong:
Tupp, thank you. I wish you'd been here too.
I don't know if it's directly related to de-cluttering but a large part of the pain of it was the loneliness I feel in dealing with the debris of a former home and former family, doing that alone. It's the feeling of being a kid in the middle of a rubbish heap with a teaspoon and a sense of dire consequences hovering.
When my D was here she was very focused on the stuff, but at that time I had a major freelance job on top of my FT job and absolutely couldn't attend to it, which frustrated her. It was at the top of her agenda but I had two choices: go through boxes with my D or earn extra money I desperately needed (in part to support her).
So it wasn't until now, 9 months after she left, that I was able to get any of it underway. There really is much, much more to do before a sale and move, and most days/weeks, I just get to work and home to collapse. I am not handling it all.
The stuff itself is the dismantling of a comfort zone, too. Like a tapestry that used to keep me warm. At the same time I am much more comfortable with the notion of having to create a new space, and also the future pleasures of doing that...
Yet I am horrified at the idea I may have to do that alone, too. I literally can't. I am fairly crushed about the lack of help from friends. That has triggered some worse feelings, concerns that I am deluded about my PHamily. (In individual instances that's certainly not the case, but with one key friend, I think some fog cleared from my eyes. I love her but think she really is about PHair weather.)
I will get back to general anxieties on another thread because I do want this one to be talking about clutter, stuff, simplicity, clearing out issues.
The more I get rid of, the better my fantasies of a new space feel. (And the smaller.)
Anybody else get the sense that knick-knacks or unused but familiar objects become like favorite sweats?
(Kind of shabby and certainly not aesthetically pleasant but in a sleep way, feel good?)
xo
Hops
sKePTiKal:
Hops - maybe this will help. I've not quite thought of this - this way - in it's distilled form, before today:
I matter more to me, than I how I "don't matter" to MomBro. So, Hops should matter more to Hops... and provide for the needs you have... than worrying about, adding up, how much is still left to do. It'll happen. Just not today. That's perfectly OK. It's a process... that you're going through; not a simple task that can be broken down into steps... and just like there's no "right" way to do it... you're not going to get it "perfect" at the first pass, either. THAT'S OK, too.
I agree that something's missing in today's definition of community. That's one of the really striking things about being here - where "old" traditions are maintained - I'm able to connect to those from time to time and it just blows me away that total strangers are so kind, caring, and generous. I really, really want to be this way, too.
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