seastorm

[seastorm]

I talked to my exN today. I ended up going to sleep for 3 hours afterward. He sent me an email as he wants his money. He sandwiched this information between saying he wants to hear from me and wishing me a happy bla bla bla. He said that he was feeling fragile.
I felt so overwhelmed and I cried and cried.After a while I realized what a mixed message it was and how it was just bullshit anyway. I get this feeling of dread when I have to communicate with him. I think I am finding it possible to distance myself a bit. Thank god.
I will stick to emails and mightly few of them. He managed to say "You know why I left and now I have no home, no job and it is rough"  Blaming me for everything. I just let it go. It is an endless stream of bullshit and bafflegab. But it knocked me out.
I am learning though. I went downstairs and lit a fire in the fireplace and connected here.
My daughter phoned. She talks to me now that he has gone. She can tell I am getting healthier. This means the world to me. She is lovely and strong and happy. This world of aliens who do diabolical things to each other is unfamiliar to her.
God this is a terrible struggle and i feel so lonely at times.
I still wish it would work out with N but it is not going to happen.

Sea storm

[CB123]

I know, Sea.  I know. 

Sometimes you have to just sit and be sad, and you dont really need anybody to tell you what you already know.

Wishing you peace,

CB

[Hopalong]

Sea,

You are sooooo telling the truth to yourself.
You should be very proud of that.

You are so right not to confuse the transfat stuffing with the Oreo.

By daylight it'll be even clearer.

(And one of these days you'll probably just go ahead and Block Sender, so you don't get emotionally jerked around any more by his games.)

You don't owe him your attention.

But it is so good to hear you giving YOURSELF honest attention.
You deserve that!

So glad you're here, dear.

Hops

[gratitude28]

Oh sea,
Can you believe that he could hurt you and then blame it on you??????? Amazing and unreal. And I am sure in his sick mind he thinks that's true. The thing is, he will never ever understand how pathetic and wrong his thoughts are. Never.
But you are becoming whole. And you have so much to look forward to. If you can, don't deal with him directly... Don't let him have that power. When he gets bored, you will be the one he turns to to stir up some "fun." And, for him, getting a rise out of you in any way is more interesting that being bored...
Love and hopes for little or no contact.
Beth

[Sela]

Hi Sea:

This is not very nice for you right now.  It won't last forever.  Soon, he will move on to his next target and you will be free to live your life in peace.  It will take some time though.  And you are doing a good job of releasing your feelings and reaching out for support!  Good for you!  That's so important!

And I'm very glad to hear that you and your daughter are connecting again!  That is wonderful!  That's one beautfiul result of all this eh? 

Hang in there Sea and keep taking care of you.  Great idea to stick to a few emails.  Can you imagine him as a weak, fearful, sneaky little mouse before you open and read?  Picture him in your head as being so desparate to manipulate, so hard up for a thrill....that he has to send twisted messages to you and think of yourself as safe and far, far away from being his prey?   You don't have to believe a word he says.  I'm so glad you have identified it all as bs.   That's exactly what it is, so again, good for you!

Please don't believe this lonliness will last.  It won't.  Soon you'll be much better off and happier!  Stick to your guns!  Don't allow him to hurt you any more.

Sela

[mudpuppy]

I will stick to emails and mightly few of them.

Why communicate with him at all in any way, shape, matter or form? That's what your lawyer is for.

IMO the only result of talking to one of these people is involuntarily acquiring ammo in case you ever have to file a lawsuit against them.
If you're not going to sue him for intentional infliction of emotional distress I'm not sure you should continue to let him inflict it on you.
He's getting to intentionally manipulate and upset you with these communications. What are you getting out of them?

mud

[Dazed1]

Hi Seastorm,

What you're going through is draining and torturous. 

It's the dark night of the soul and yet, a bit of light shines through, like reconnecting with your daughter.

If you can, perhaps you can give yourself a "vacation" from communicating with him, like give yourself 5 days of no contact with him (not even emails) or communicate with him only via a lawyer.

The idea is to put a shield around yourself to protect yourself from him and part of that protection is to avoid direct communication with him. 

Do whatever you can to avoid or diminish upsetting yourself.  Put yourself first, do whatever you can to give yourself peace of mind.

And yes, eventually this will end and you will be free of him.

Strength, courage and peace to you,
dazed