New - Non-religious 12 step programs?

[mlynn]

Hi. I am new here. I am the adult child of an Alcoholic who is also an N.

I am not a thiest.  I find that many of the 12 step programs aren't compatable with my life view so I am looking for a 12 step program that will be more practicle for me.

[Gaining Strength]

mlynn - AA started with using the term "higher power" so that anyone would feel welcome.  The concept is that "higher power" can be something other than God.  Can you by into so power greater than yourself such as whatever power created the universe such as "nature" or can you find any other way to find the term "higher power" compatible with your philosophy?  If you can do that then your next step is to ignore the God talk and mentally substitute "higher power" everytime you hear someone else use the word God.

When I attended Alanon for several years there was a real mix of people and beliefs and we we very conscious to not offend one another so there was great effort made to stick to the phrase "higher power".  That allowed people who simply found the group to be something of a higher power than themselves to participate and use the same phrase.

I hope you can find what you need.  But finding this place may be a help as well.  Glad you are here - Gaining Strength

[Hopalong]

Hi MLynn,

I have heard Rational Recovery is a nontheistic AA alternative. I think if you Google "nontheistic recover programs" you'd find more resources...

Hops

[gratitude28]

I tried the Rarional Recovery once but found it to be a very solitary and lonely program. It's basicall, envision yourself beating the desire to drink...

MLynn,
I have always had a terrible aversion to religion. Even now I battle it. But I adore AA and the 12 step program. My "higher power" or "God" is the Group Of Drunks around me. Just that we can come together and help one another works for me. Some people do get a bit "holier than thou." But remember that the basic rule of AA is "take what you need." That means, ignore the stuff that isn't for you. The great thing about the meetings is you will always hear something that pertains to you and I will bet that at any meeting you will find people who share your same beliefs.

Have you tried going yet?? The steps off AA are so wonderful... not just for quitting whatever it is you wish to quit, but also for living your life. They help give you balance and perspective in all areas of your life.

Love, Beth

[WRITE]

There's a group called Moderation Management which has some good stuff http://www.moderation.org/ though some of the people are still drinking and some like me learned through it that moderation was too hard and abstinence was the way.

It was a good process for me- I would never have stayed sober if I'd jumped right in, or coped with all the family revelations at one go.

http://www.secularsobriety.org/ is another organisation, this one with abstinence as the main goal.

I could never do 12 step either- couldn't get past powerless!

For many years I thought ( because that's what I had been taught ) that G_d was an old white guy on a cloud dispensing arbitrary justice...and I don't believe in that....but I have always found a great spiritual peace in nature and music and sacred writings.

Now I realise that IS G_d, that everyone experiences G_d and visualises it differently, and when people tell me I am wrong I disengage; I don't argue much these days, and have the utmost repsect for other people's beliefs, but frankly the proselytising earlier in my life made it harder for me to come to spiritual peace and now I am very careful what I tell others about my beliefs. It's as easy to hurt people and harden their hearts as it is to uplift or inspire them!

Many people I have met who are unbelievers in a deity are filled with the spirit, they just don't care to call it that or affiliate themselves with a particular religion.

Good luck!

[moonlight52]

Hey Write

When that separateness to what is sacred within when this disconnects that is when  difficulty happens.
I sure do like what you say about sacred writings etc finding that peace within is a good thing.....

quote from Write
For many years I thought ( because that's what I had been taught ) that G_d was an old white guy on a cloud dispensing arbitrary justice...and I don't believe in that....but I have always found a great spiritual peace in nature and music and sacred writings.


love to you

moon 

p.s. I like to think of what mum said about "not being our stories and being so much more"

[WRITE]

I like to think of what mum said about "not being our stories and being so much more"

absolutely- our story isn't finished is it!

There's a phrase I just thought of, my friend who died yesterday would have laughed, we're both portly sopranos ( as all the best are! )

The show ain't over 'til the fat lady sings....

 

****

How are you Moon? Feeling any better, you sound better.
I've notched down the mania and back into the routine which seems to help.

My upstairs neighbours kids are loud though, about 2 and 4 and they're running around all hours- 4 or 5 am some days! But I've switched off to it somewhat, moved my room to the opposite side of the apartment and got a disc with the sea on it which is almost like the white noise someone recommended. I have spoken to them but can't complain any more, clearly they have some problems and they're very young parents- I can't be responsible for them getting evicted. Maybe I'll make friends with them some time and give them some tips on sleep patterns ( smile )

[Stormchild]

Oh beth, I love it! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!

G.O.D. = Group Of Drunks

Oh I love it I love it I love it I love it.

Where I live there's a freight trucking Co. called G.O.D. for Guaranteed Overnight Delivery, been around for 20 years or more now. I used to love to travel behind them on the interstates on business trips. Their drivers were very careful. And I got to drive home with G.O.D. So now when I see a G.O.D. truck I'll imagine a great AA meeting going on in the trailer!

Thank you for the first real smile I've had all day, dear