Hey CB
You mention religious misogyny---which I had to look up. And then I got chills. You hit that right on the head for me as to why I think I may be dealing with so much of this right now. We all,---- me, my husband, my FOO, and in-laws, were born and raised in a religion which operates on and breeds misogyny and feeds and breeds Nism. IMO
Most people just think it is a religion, but anyone who has gotten "out" will tell you it is very cult-like. And the women get the worst of it. The men walk around thinking they are gods to the subservient women. It is really sick.
I guess that is why I have stuck with my H for so long hoping to one day get through to him and lead him out. We were peripheral "members". As in, on their records, but not attending. I didn't go cause it was a bunch of crap and I knew it and there was no way I would allow my kids to have their minds raped with it. ( Although mine WAS by both the "church" and my parents using it to feed their Nism.)
On the other hand, H still believed, or claimed to, and I had to keep my mouth shut until I felt the time was right. It finally was right last year and he finally is listening to my feelings and the proof I can show him, I have been waiting to show him until the coast was clear, of how awful it is now and how awful it has been from the beginning. (the religion).
My FOO is beyond help. My mother has used it to feed her Nism by being one of the few women in some sort of leadership within the church and the rest are too brainwashed to see---I don't have the time or energy. So I cut ties with them. And I stay with the H for now, cause every once in a while I see a glimmer of hope and wonder if maybe I can just get out of here and out from under the influence of this religion and HIS controlling FOO--he just might snap out of it.
I guess there is a part of me that still hopes. Now he is finally showing progress, and yet it has been one of the most grueling years since we have tried to make sense of our lives and see through the brainwashing. I feel I always saw through it, but did not dare speak, and he was VERY brainwashed. And didn't want to see. It works well for some people, obviously. It has been a long haul, and I hope he will pull himself out of it. I can't drag him, I know that. I really can't help but wonder how things could be different though.
Well anyway, you struck a chord with me there. Sorry for the rant. I don't even know if it makes any sense. I realize there aren't so many who can relate to this. Maybe on some level you can?
How long were you married in all? I think you are right, I worry about it the effects of leaving the children with their father when it is his turn, at least now I know he will not be abusing them with this religious cult. He has at least come that far. Maybe I stayed to make sure of that at least, right now I just don't know. Takin' it day by day really.
Whew!
Have a lovely day/evening. Everyone.
Namste,
Sunny D
