Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Hello everyone, I'm new here, and really need some advice!
sunnydeeelite:
Oops!!!!! Guys, I'm a massage therapist, that was not a Freudian slip! LOL!!!!!!
I'll tell you what, this is driving me crazy, I even threw my car keys in the garbage today without realising it! Then searched the house up and down for them, finally, there they were, in the trash! ACK!!!!!!!!
Wildflower:
Hi sunnydeelite,
It's nice to hear from you again and know that you're okay!
--- Quote ---She said that we are the cured meat in the cellar, and when there isn't any fresh food to be had, they come and gnaw on us for awhile, until there is another source available again. And that's true. For me, anyway.
--- End quote ---
I really like this image.
--- Quote ---What I want to know is, are they what can be considered true evil?
--- End quote ---
It may be that your husband suffered damage to the part of the brain that controls violent behavior, that I don't know, but I do know that it certainly feels like evil when you're on the receiving end of all the N games. According to the research I've done, though, most Ns are the product of abuse themselves - which is what makes it tricky for many people to separate from them. If we know enough about their own suffering, it can be easy to sympathize and think they can be healed.
But whether or not they're evil, most N's can't be healed (again, according to the research I've done), so there's no helping them. There's only getting away to safety - whether that means physically moving to a hotel or emotionally moving to a safe place behind well-defended boundaries.
Laughing about the car keys, by the way. Last week I got so disoriented that I literally didn't know which way was home - and I was only two blocks away! :wink:
Wildflower
kelly8893:
Hello!
I can relate to your analysis about how you felt being around your N, they have a great way of making you feel like you are going nuts and you just want to run and hide far away from them and yourself.
I was in a relatinship on again and off again with a N for 8 years and he never got knock down drag out physical but I was scared to death and still am, if he crossed a certain line then he would be angry enough to hurt me really bad! He used to use the same phase " Just wait and see" I finally moved far enough away, that he couldn't find me unless he really tried, he doesn't work and he doesn't drive so that made it easy to move away but I still keep looking behind me just in case. These people are just plain crazy and everyone knows it but them and some of them like mine told everyone that he was nuts but he didn't really believe it. They really believe everyone else is nuts and they are sane. It is very hard to be in a normal healthy relationship with these kinds of people, I tried telling myself for years that is was just loneliness that kept me going back for more but mostly I was scared to be me, I am not scared anymore. If you think he will hurt you then get whatever you need to get far away from him. You deserve the best that life has to offer. Don't ever forget that YOU deserve the best!
Have a great week!
sunnydeeelite:
You guys are right. I don't believe they can be healed. It would take actually going in and repairing their brains. It's so funny, how they all have similar characteristics, like people with Parkinsons, or other disorders, there are distinct characteristics that come with the disorders. So I think that Narcissism should be classified as an actual DISEASE.
The movie Dawn of the Dead is coming out this weekend I think. And I was thinking about how alot of classic narcissists resemble them. They don't seem to serve much purpose, except to gratify themselves, and they cause much carnage and destruction with the people they come in contact with. THANKFULLY yours doesn't have a vehicle, Kelly. Mine has one, which sucks. He works hard to not have to work, he says he has a job, driving a limo, on the weekends, then sits at home all week online trying to hook up with women, using his kids for the glory of being able to say "I HAVE CUSTODY OF MY KIDS". While they go without clothes, proper nutrition, and for God's sake, toilet paper. The kids complained they had nothing to wipe with for 5 days, and their little butts were covered with feces. They didn't have a bath for 5 days either. Their Mom called DFACS. Did no good. I guess I stay in contact for the kids, but I need to let go.
I called his bluff on the phone bill, told him I had a copy and KNEW that I didnt owe all the money he said I owed. He agreed, since this week he isn't struggling for money, he didnt have much of a reason to argue.
Sorry to go ona nd on like this guys, but it feels so good to get it all out with others who understand. I hope I can help you guys in some way as well. We all need to start a Narcissist annual get together. A pow wow of sorts! I think I might try to start that!!!!! :D
But guys, has it been hard for you, to break away? I get confused, it's as though he pulls me in, spits me out over and over again, and I feel like an emotional basket case. he's nice, then mean, nice, then mean. It's like an addiction. I just can't break away completely!
Wildflower, Kelly, thanks for the advice and concern. I hop everyone is having a great day today. As for me? It's another day of him manipulating and me falling for it.
If anyone knows of a good way to get out of this craziness, please let me know.
[/quote]
seeker:
Hi Sunnydeelite
You wrote:
--- Quote ---But guys, has it been hard for you, to break away? I get confused, it's as though he pulls me in, spits me out over and over again, and I feel like an emotional basket case. he's nice, then mean, nice, then mean. It's like an addiction. I just can't break away completely!
--- End quote ---
As I read your post, the oldie "Set Me Free" by the Supremes comes to mind. 8) Remember that one? Diana Ross sounds pretty angry, frustrated and desperate. For good reason.
My definition of evil was forming intuitively when I would read about terrorists and Hitler and certain criminals. Then, while watching a PBS show about religion after 9/11 or spirituality (can't recall the title), it came to me. Evil is when one treats other forms of life as things or objects. When you dehumanize another. That's it for me. Later I read People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck and there it was, full validation of how I was feeling.
Also read a book called Psychic Vampires :shock: which pretty much sealed the deal for me regarding the vicious N in my life. The relationship was drained of all love years before and the rest was just keeping up appearances.
Please do take care of yourself. Hope these book recommendations might be useful. Seeker
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