...... am reading about all of you and your pain. The powers that be will soon leave me alone re the the year-end bookkeeping!
I am still confused.
This is where I am at (I found it on the INTERNET, one of those searches that takes a person further and further into the bowels of cyberspace) so forget where, & don't remember the name to whom to give the credit for this insight.
(nursie: I read you and think you are going to understand this.)
Looking at the decisions we choose from a psychological perspective, we notice the choices we make are an interconnected system of ideas, emotions, and personal histories. Our beliefs are often so difficult to dislodge for review no matter how inaccurate, inappropriate, or damaging they may be. What adds to the difficulty of the choices we make is that the beliefs we have learned are based on what others believed.
Growing up we believe what our authority figures tell us because this is what they want us to believe. People in authority had an investment in the ideas and the more our parents or other authority figures shared their worldview on things the better and more stable they felt for themselves. Having young people follow the course they set for themselves only solidified their beliefs and young people were rewarded for following and admonished if they did not.
The idea is beliefs are inherited and become a part of a personal grid in seeing the world. This personal grid of perspectives is built in the formative years and based on the influence of authority. This can make our own trajectory a more complicated idea to unravel from the indoctrination of the past. Which lessons were good? Which beliefs do I need to change? How indoctrinated was I? And how do I become self-aware to make the changes?Note from Izzy: Have we posted Bruce? Lipton here. His tapes are fascinating and from them I see why I am somewhat like my mother, and wonder if my daughter has some of me. Nevertheless, he states that
Perspectives are changeable, not permanent, and the last step before
Beliefs, which are what form our personalities. At 67,
can I change my Beliefs? I am not likely to.
Here is an example that I dislike to admit: I was born in 1939, so Hitler got mad and started WWII. When Canada joined the war, an English woman came to our house for some reason. I was about 4 years old and I remember my mother calling her a
DP with such disdain (displaced person) that I could have gone through life believing that anyone with an accent, is
to be disdained as a DP. I remember how lovely looking she was...fancy blond hairdo, a mink stole? and diamonds... I just watched her and never said a word, an order from my mother. MY BELIEFS MUST BE CHANGED AND ONLY I CAN DO IT! For the most part, this is one belief that changed with my experiences of meeting people as I grew thru' my teens and 20s, but it was very difficult
.............
a note re an email from my younger sister who is syrupy sweet.... when I said I would choose when I end my solitary existence, she took it to mean I would move back to Ontario, NO WAY!!!! Somehow I have to put across the point that I seldom saw the siblings in their inaccessible houses in Ontario, and some didn't see fit to visit me. "I can't go home again, because I don't want to" .
One thing I can thank the N for is getting me away from my FOO. I used to say, 'Sh*t! and I paid ½ his way out here', and now I say, '...and 'Great, He paid ½ my way out here'.
Love to all
Izzy
