Seeking Therapy

[steve]

Hello All:

I have posted on here many times before and have received great feedback. Often, I would post and read the replies and not follow up. Just to be clear, it is not because I do not appreciate the encouragement or advice. Instead, it is because often when I post I get so emotionally drained that I do not wish to go down that road again.

I have decided to give therapy another try. I went down that road before but never gave it much of a chance because I did not feel the therapist was working. This time, I read the posts on this message board and followed their advice. I sent an email to three therapists asking them several questions and giving them a quick heads up as to my condition. As I receive their replies I would appreciate if I could get some help in making my decision.

As you all know, therapy is a difficult decision to undertake and I will need to go in with a positive expectation.

The first therapist has replied to me. She appears to be very warm and encouraging. The problem I have with her however, is that she follows the Adler school. I have done some research on this technique and do not see how it can be effectively applied to adult children of narcissists. Does anyone have any insight in to this technique and whether it can be helpful?

I will augment this post when the other two apply and hopefully you will be able to help me make my decision. I also hope others can learn and proceed down a more positive road. I will stay in touch.

Steve

[Bones]

Hi, Steve.

I'll try to help by getting some further info on the Adler approach.

Bones

[Bones]

I should confess that I'm a psychology student, studying a variety of theories so a lot of stuff is kinda running together in my brain.  When I looked at the following website,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_Adlerian_psychology

it appears that it could address issues stemming from being victims of abuse.

Bones

[Dazed1]

Hi Steve,

What if you emailed her and asked her whether she has experience treating adult children of Ns? 

So great you're giving therapy another shot.

dazed

[steve]

Thanks for the link Bones, I checked it out. Though useful for information I think this approach may not be the best path.

Dazed, I did mention that I was an ACON in my e-mail.

I received another reply from my first choice in therapits and I may proceed with her. I guess in the end I just have to try and see what works.

I will keep you informed if anything materializes.

Steve

[Dazed1]

Steve,

I undertsand feeling so drained that you don't want to talk about it.

But, we're here for you if you feel like it.  Good luck with shopping for therapists.

Got an idea:  I heard that the Masterson Institute in NY specializes issues dealing with Nism.  Perhaps if you call them, they can refer you to a T in your area: 

http://www.mastersoninstitute.org/index.html

The Masterson Institute For Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy
60 Sutton Place South
New York, NY 10022
212-935-1414 Phone
212-355-5924 Fax

If you feel like it, I'd love to hear what you found, but, no pressure.  Please don't post if you don'y feel like it.

Good luck.
dazed

[isittoolate]

hi steve,

I dig what you are saying.

I have been away from the N for 4½ years and I don't want to rehash all the details over and over.

I am now trying to rectify my voicelessness throughout life to see WHY I ended up in predicaments--

............so I am focusing on being assertive and not wearing a sign that says "I CAN BE WALKED ALL OVER".
...and to have some peace and quiet to focus, I have chosen to live and be alone!
Good Will
Izzy

[axa]

Steve,

Have studied psychology also.  I am going to a therapist who works from an object relations perspective.  For me this is very useful because i believe whatever about the Ns there is something fundamentally damaged in me internally in that I am willing to take the negative from someone and internalise that....... anyway for what its worth I find it very useful.

good luck in your search

axa

[Bones]

Thanks for the link Bones, I checked it out. Though useful for information I think this approach may not be the best path.

Dazed, I did mention that I was an ACON in my e-mail.

I received another reply from my first choice in therapits and I may proceed with her. I guess in the end I just have to try and see what works.

I will keep you informed if anything materializes.

Steve

Thanks, Steve!

Bones

[steve]

I contacted the therapist and left a voice mail. She did not reply. So I left her another e-mail again with my phone number and she never bothered calling back. This was so unprofessional and I ended up feeling bad about myself like I had done something wrong. It has left a sour taste in my mouth and I began to doubt whether this was the right course. After slipping further in to depression I finally decided to expand my search and fired off 5 more e-mails asking questions. All five replied and again I was faced with making a decision.

The one therapist I decided on uses the humanistic approach. He is a director of counselling at a local college and he seemed very pleasant on the phone. I am very nervous and I have scheduled an appointment for tomorrow. I do not know how this will work out but I do have some high expectations. I can no longer bear this life of mine and unless I can get some decent counselling I am afraid I will slip further in to dispair.

While researching the humanistic approach it seemed that this was the best avenue to take. It is a very subjective method and you hear key words like empathy, nonjudgmental, and healthy sense of self. All these are traits and characteristics that I am sure many on this board can relate as to elements missing in our lives. I very much hope the fit is good and we can proceed on a healthy road to recovery. I will be in touch as more develops. Wish me luck!

Steve

[moonlight52]

Steve 

 hooray for you

I am happy for you

let us know how ya doing..

and about the method of therapy

made my day to hear you have found a good t

best best wishes 

m

[Hopalong]

I wish you much luck, Steve!

If your intuition tells you that this T is intelligent, kind, and knows what s/he's doing...maybe don't worry so immensely over the methodology.

Empathic listening, and sufficient training, can be just CATALYSTS for your own momentum in healing yourself. Your therapist won't do it to you, s/he'll help you to identify your own desire for health and follow your own innate wisdom there.

Let us know!

Hops