Hi Axa,
When I was in the rage stage after being badly hurt by xNbfs, I would have revenge fantasies.
My favorite was a tall handsome forester who used me, encouraged all my attachment and vulnerability, then unceremoniously announced that he was ready to sleep with other women now. Arrggh. I knew he had this pattern of seducing and tossing, and he went to a city swimming pool near my house every day. He was also very very proud of his huge truck. He also was very concerned with image making...presented kind of a smarmy goody-two-shoes in pubic and even his Quaker meeting (where he'd also run through a few other women).
I had persistent fantasies of having bumper stickers printed that said, in big red letters:
WARNING: THIS MAN HURTS WOMEN
...and plastering his truck with them some Saturday a.m. while he was swimming his laps.
I think in both cases, when I felt vengeful, it was because I wanted to humiliate the Ns in public, and unmask them.
By the last xNbf, though, I just didn't give a hoot. Wanted to get away from him as fast as possible. So that was progress.
And that's been over two years, and I've learned a lot since. If I get out there again, I think it's going to be a lot less WORK.
Hops
