Unconscious

[axa]

I was thinking about something nice which happened yesterday and without awareness thought I must tell XN that when he gets back.  I completely forgot I have gotten rid of him.............WHAT IS THAT ABOUT  It has shocked me that I could have been so unconscious.

Made me feel scared like I still have some connection with him

Thoughts,

Axa

[Gaining Strength]

That is a very clear and very normal part of grieving.  Do not let that worry you.  Part of you forgot that you were alone - that part that wanted to share.  Just know that what you experienced is very normal and keep moving towards healing. - your friend - Gaining Strength

[Sela]

Hiya Axa:

I experienced something similar.  A couple of years after someone I cared about passed away, I picked up the phone to call because I was excited about some good news.  Then I realized the reality as I dialed and had to hang up. 

Maybe it is a trick the unconscious plays on us?  Getting us to think everything is ok and good and wonderful, the way we thought it was....even if only for a few moments??   Maybe remembering the good times.....more so than the bad is a kind of sign of healing.....a way of letting go of focussing on the awful stuff??  Keeping what's nice and pitching the rest??).

I agree with GS about this being a normal part of grieving.  The good news is.....grieving does end.   And the connection you had with him was real, so no wonder your mind recalls it every so often.  Maybe your unconscious is unconsciously trying to soothe you with good memories????    Or it's confused and hasn't caught up with what's happening now??      Either way, I bet it will stop doing that kind of thing after awhile and move on to bigger and better things.   

Soon you'll be consciously remembering stuff that is good and wonderful and current!!  Sending you a bag full of hope. 

Sela

[isittoolate]

hiya axa

In keeping with your 'problem', I talk to  myself. I do it all day. I don't ask questions, as I wouldn't trust the answers.

In the a.m when I awaken I look at the clock. "I say, outloud, "10:00. That's just right! OK what will today be all about?",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and that is just the beginning. Then o talk ouloud about my dreams and try to snaoluze them.

I think you will be fine, when everything sinks in!!

xx
Izzy

[maitri]

I know that feeling. It's the emotional equivalent of when you run up stairs and you think there's one more but your foot just keeps going. At least for me - you get that same jarring 'THUD' as you realise, no, wait, XN / (NDad in my case) isn't in my life anymore.

I agree with GS and Sela. It's part of the grieving process. But it is horribly disorienting to experience it.

I think there should be a 6th stage added to the 5 Stages of Grief - one that pops up intermittently throughout all the other stages, and which should be called, "What the F*$k?" That would certainly cover this feeling you're describing.

((((hugs))))
maitri

[Hopalong]

Maitri.....

thanks.

Hops

[Sela]

I think there should be a 6th stage added to the 5 Stages of Grief - one that pops up intermittently throughout all the other stages, and which should be called, "What the F*$k?"

 

Thanks Maitri!  You gave me my morning laugh (although, I seriously agree).

  Sela

[axa]

with ya on that one also Matri


axa