keeping eyes on way out

[Overcomer]

Is this a double bind or talking out of both sides of your mouth???  Year ago nmom says, "we are now going to Just In Time Inventory........."  Six months later she says, "the industry thinks there are too many costs in Just In Time inventory so we are now going to order every other day instead of every day."   Six months later she says, "why aren't we doing Just In Time Inventory?"   And when you remind you of what she said six months ago, she poo poos you and says "I never said that."

[DivineSunshine]

Does that help clarify double-bind a little better?

Bones,

Yup, and it brings back fond memories of dear N mom as well.

ooh, oooh...now I am back to needing my affirmation:

I deserve love and respect!

Whew!  Better.  Go to my happy place! Go to my happy place!

Peace out--

Sunny

[DivineSunshine]

CB,

Won't it be nice to have all new energy at your new place?  I mean vital energy and vibrational energy.  Here's to getting rid of some huge reminders--like the same house----of your old life!

Yippeee!

Wishing you "Good Vibrations" ---- Beach Boys?

Sunny

[moonlight52]

Kell and all,

Buyers remorse I have never heard it put so well...

moonlight

p.s. another example" double bind " "the chicken or the egg which came first"?
Heads I win tails you lose  these double binds are so tricky .No win people that live to manipulate others sad

I never heard of this method before.I would guess it would be no fun if the victim did not know or care it was happening.

[Gaining Strength]

Here's a double bind that I lived with in my first marriage and in my childhood at home - my first husband said more than once, "No, I won't do that for you because you asked." And he wasn't going to do it if I didn't ask.  That was the same lesson I learned at Christmas and birthdays growing  up but it was never verbalized.  I would receive expensive gifts but not ones that I wanted or asked for and then I would be excoriated because I was "unappreciative."

The message of the double bind is that I did not deserve and could not have whatever it was that I wanted or longed for.  It was a very damaging message.  I grew resentful and just barely under the surface rageful.  What I have only recently discovered is a double bind that I was an embarrassment if I was not successful in any particular endeavor and I was ignored and secretly loathed if I was successful on any scale.  That is the really big psychological double-bind that has entrapped me forever and which I am just now undoing the damage from.  100 times a day I have to identify these dread feelings that grip me and talk back to them with conviction and confidence that I have overcome them. 

It is not the conscious stuff that I struggle with and it is not the surface stuff that Dr. Phil loves to "solve" in 10 or 15 minutes but the real struggle is the stuff that was first imprinted at that preverbal stage and drilled in -  unconscious even to the N perpetrators.  So here I am down in the ditch again when I really want to keep focus on how thankful I am to have discovered the manacles so I can use positive transforming thoughts to unlock it.  And now I am going to positive think myself into fixing dinner and making valentines for school tomorrow. 

Undoing binds for valentines!

[Bones]

Bones

perfect example

really the best

push pull

all that is needed in a no win thing

Is not to play that game

sadly these two did not understand the dynamic

Thanks, Moon!

Bones

[Hopalong]

((((CB))))

I feel your excitement, and I'm so happy for you!
Take care of yourself physically now, too.

I think you're living up to your tagline!

Hops

[axa]

CB

Great news about the apartment......... so excited for you...........new beginnings, wonderful new beginnings to you.


axa

[Gaining Strength]

CB

The way out means that all those things are more important than anything I lose in this divorce.  It means that, even if I am not going to a resort for an adventure, my life is going to be an adventure right here where I am.  I really, really believe that. 

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes!!!!!!!!!!!

[mudpuppy]

keeping eyes on way out

Heh. At first I thought you meant you wanted to make sure you still had your eyeballs on your way out of some stressful situation, GS. Sounded pretty gruesome so of course I read on.

Not sure if that says more about your syntax or my mind.

mud

[Stormchild]

Well, that would make 'keeping your eyes on the prize' kinda messy, wouldn't it?

[Gaining Strength]

LOL mudpuppy!!

Perspective, perspective, perspective.