Blue Tuesday

[SilverLining]

 I found the same kind of thing in my management career.  Out of 150 or so employees, there were about 10-20 that really got on my nerves with insubordination, constant complaining, disrespect .e.tc...  The trouble is, this small group was also very good at making 10 times more noise than anybody else, so their "message" drowned out the positive from the majority. I  reached the stage where it seemed I could not pay attention to anything else.  The "bad seeds" were coloring my perception of the whole situation. 

I eventually reached extreme burnout and quit.  I tend to think I am just not cut out for this type of work.  But it could be I just didn't have the experience/ skills to deal with the inevitable bad apples.  I also have come to believe those of us with N influences in the background are very susceptible, because we have learned to accomodate rather than really manage a situation. 

So possibly one answer is a job where you are not in charge of people.  I can see where trying to manage 170 high school age kids in the modern school environment would be an extreme challenge.   I remember how  some of the teachers were treated when I was in high school, and somehow the vulnerable got detected out and targeted for abuse.  Looking back on it now, it seems like the majority of my high school teachers probably were in some stage of "burnout". 

If you can't get out of the situation fairly soon, is it possible to transfer to a different level of the education system?   

Figuring out how to manage is critical, because the burnout just keeps getting worse.   

 

[debkor]

Lupita,

Hmm, sounds like they are challenging you? I would take on the challenge. I would ask them to be quiet if they did not respond then I would stop the class and ask if they think they could do a better job. That you were open to options.  I would call them to the front and give them the floor.  I would tell them that is obvious with all the disruptions they have something to say.  I would call them all up and say go for it.  Say what you need to say. Tell everyone, we are listening.
I'm sure they will say something like real smart asses but you will have to hold strong.  I would then address the rest of the class and ask them if they agree with them. Some will, Some won't.  I would tell them all I have heard everything they have said and understand that it is their true feelings but tuff, that you are here to teach and if they have an creative ideas that you can fit in to make it more enjoyable for them then you are open to it. I would challenge the one's giving you the hard time to come up with creative ideas?  If they have none then I would bypass them and listen to the other students.
Maybe if they leave them selves out they will find it's really lonely not getting the attention of the others anymore and join the group who is creating instead of disrupting. Ask them what could make it more interesting?

Just an idea, Does your school allow you to do this?

Love Deb

[debkor]

Lupita,

Also, do you think that these kids have some kind of learning disability? Maybe that is why they are not motivated.
Just wondering? 

Deb

[Leah]

Great minds think alike Deb, were you thinking on the lines of ADHD perhaps?

Leah

[debkor]

Leah,

 Ya I was. I was also thinking on the terms of dyslexia which my son suffered from.  ADD and Dyslexia have almost the same traits in the classroom and they can be confused for each other. My son was much younger so he did not disrupt the class with disrespect (plus I would kill him) but he did tend to wander off the subject.  He would look out the window.  He just didn't get it so he gave up and got bored.   He was not motivated.  He couldn't be. Why try when you don't get it. 
I eventually tried tricks and he was able to learn some on his own.  With his reading they would send home sheets of paper with a short story on it.  He hated it. We together figured out what may help him.  I started to draw pictures above the word so he could look at the word and look above to see the picture.  Like Butterfly I would draw one on the top.  It started to click for him. He would remember through mental pictures.He then motivated himself to at least try.  It paid off.  When I went to see his teacher she told me that all the kids in the class would ask if they could read off of my sons page.  She let them and adopted it into the class. 
He's 12 now and does really well but I'm sure the harder it gets we will have to come up with new st rageties.
So it made me wonder about Lupita's students.

Love Deb

[Leah]

(((Deb)))

You truly are a wonderful mother
and your son is so blessed to have you for his mother.

Leah x

[Lupita]

I have tried all what you have mentioned. These are not special aid kids. This are adults. 18 years old. And they are very smart. Like the employee of CB. Today We went to the media center to work a beautiful assignment on the internet. They are seven in this class only. The seven said "I am not going to do it" i asked why and they said "I have something better to do".
Then I said that this is my time and they have to do my work. Then the media center specialist was so mad that she cold the principal. When they saw that she called the principal four of them started to work. Three still did not do anything. When the principal arrived he said J, to my office. The other said I have not done anything wrong. Then the principal said S, "my office". He took them to his office and I did not see them the rest of the day. The others complained that I have never explained the work to them. I did, many times. Then one started to sing. Then I said, do not sing and do not talk, we are in the library. Then they finished and I told them to read. I do not know what is going to happen on Monday. I expect that if they saw the principal taking these two to the office, they are going to be better. Before I left school today I went to the office and asked the principal if he wanted to talk to me and he said that we could talk next week and that I have a good weekend. I thought if he was mad at me he would want to talk to me immediately. I do not know. Please help. I need a teacher to give me ideas. Tricks. How can I turn around this class. First period. Please. Help. Do we have a teacher here? Education specialist? I cannot transfer. I have to survive the rest of the year. I will think what to do then but for now, I will not find a job until the end of the year. And I need for this principal to give a good recommendation. He has to be happy with me or I will never get t another job.
Please help. Any teacher here?
Lupita

[Leah]

Dear Lupita,

Before I left school today I went to the office and asked the principal if he wanted to talk to me and he said that we could talk next week and that I have a good weekend. I thought if he was mad at me he would want to talk to me immediately. I do not know. Please help.


The principal does not have a problem with your work Lupita.

Your confidence has been undermined by this small minority, group of 7 pupils aged 18 years old ..... and they know it ..... believe me.

Once they get a whiff of that ....... then they assume to take control.

You need to remove that false sense of power and control from them .... it does not belong to them, it belongs to you - the teacher.

You need to demonstrate unwavering confidence in your decisions, from the front of the class  (regardless of how you really feel inside) 

Be firm in your speech and speak directly and clearly ..... your directions, and don't take no prisoners!!

Is there a rule for sending a pupil out to the principal for inappropriate behavior in the classroom??  If yes, do it ...... no matter how many times ..... the message will come over loud and clear. 

As it did when the media center specialist called the Principal.

Did you get an opportunity to speak to the media center specialist afterwards??  Seems a likely ally and source of helpful input.

Teaching 18 years old today .......... you deserve a medal.

(((( Leah ))))

[Lupita]

Leah, leah, Thank you. Thank you for telling me that the principal does not have any problem with my work. Thank you. I wanted so much to hear something like that. The media center specialist said that she will not tolerate any disrespect in her sanctuary. I praised the Lord for that. Your idea of sending those little pricks in formation to the office is very good. I will tell you what happened on Monday. That is the only class that gives me problems. And it makes me feel so bad, so depressed, so useless, and they know it. It is their way to manipulate the situation to get them selves out of work. I later discovered that those two that were in the office, missed an important test in their second period, and they intentionally missed it. Also, the girl that was singing and I told her that she sould not be singing when we are working in the library, also gives a lot of disrespect to the music teacher. This is a private school, these kids are rich, they come with very expensive cars, etc. So, I know that the principal has to be very diplomatic.
Thank you.

[Leah]

Dear Lupita,

Believe me, 18 years olds can be very manipulative and crafty.

This is a private school, these kids are rich, they come with very expensive cars, etc. So, I know that the principal has to be very diplomatic.   

Yes, private school, rich kids ............ and the parents pay a high price for their kids education ..... and they want results!! And the principal knows that ......and he knows that he has overall responsibility to ensure good behaviour and good results ..... or he'll have angry parents beating at his door.

Sending the disruptive group members out to see the principal will bring results.

They will see that you are clearly in charge.

And also, you are allowing the principal to take action with the parents, should the need arise.  Better to have everything in the open.

Look forward to hearing how you get on re: Monday's class.

Will remember you in my prayers.

(((Leah)))

[debkor]

Hey Lupita,

There is only so much you can do.  Your right they are young adults. I wouldn't feel bad about myself.  How much more can you do.  You are not their therapist.  These kids obviously have issues.  If you were to call me on my kid he would have, no car, no money and pretty  much no life.
I would remind little Johnnie or Richie Rich that they still have to pass the class and it is entirely up to them. If they want to walk with their class on graduation day then they better get with the program and pull their head out of their ass.  I on the other hand would be doing the touchdown dance to get them the hell out!! 
You can lead the horse to water but you can't make him drink. 
I thought I would pull my hair out when my kids turned 18 and they were nothing like the 10 you have.
I don't know how you do it.  P.S.  My daughter is going to be a teacher, OY! 
Aw who knows maybe little Richie Rich's wife/gf may get to talk to US on here one day when she finds out that Richie Rich always thought the world revolved around him.
Try not to get to stressed. JUNE IS COMING!!!! 

Love Deb

[Lupita]

Thank you Deb. My Sympathy to your daughter. God bless her. 54 school days are left to the end of the year. May 23. 
I will tell everybody about Monday morning first period class.
God bless you all for listening and giving your thoughts.