Very big cat problem help please

[seastorm]

Moki is magnificent and must not be denied his wild wild ways. I am tempted to keep him inside but he begs and begs to go outside. He is desperate to go outside. I live in the country and cars are not a problem.
The last cat I had was a white persian/himalayan mix and she lived to be 22. Several times I had to resue her from tall fir trees. She was an outside cat too but she seemed to be able to take care of herself better than Moki. He has been declawed (front claws). I assure you it was not me that did this to him. I talk to him about it sometimes and he lets me know it was really horrid. Soooooo he gets beat up sometimes.
Sea storm

[Stormchild]

Hey Seastorm... Moki was a fierce and very loyal Maori warrior chieftain! Not a bad name for a big, magnificent cat.

[seastorm]

    Ahhhhhhh this is most suitable then. Very good news. I will whisper in his ear how auspicious his name is. Although he has enormous self confidence except with strangers, then he makes himself into a noodle and slinks under the couch ( about 2 inches). Is he not brilliant?

It is good to see where this topic went from start to finish. It evloved into frolicking and laughing. What a good place.

Sea storm

[Dazed1]

Sea,

Also he is not the only reason I am in rough shape. I am doing therapy and my issues started long before N.  My mom was an N big time.

You posted this a ways back in the thread.  I just want to say that you, like me and like many of the people here, are going thru immensely painful change:  Not only were we hurt and burned by our N, but (1) many of us were shocked to learn that the person who burned us was an N, and (2) then we see that we became involved with the N because we were raised by Ns.

So, these realizations are REALLY shocking.  Now, we have to (or choose to) review our entire lives and try to sort thru the mess.

It's exhausting and depressing, yet, for many of us, we would never go back to the days when we were unaware of the Nism in our lives.

So Sea, I just wanted to acknowledge the enormity of your stuggle and tell you you are doing so well moving forward.

dazed

[seastorm]

thanks very much Dazed

Glad you picked up on that. I speak tentatively of working on issues with my mother. Her contempt is never far from me. i realize the impact that she had. I can see why I was easy pickings for anyone who appeared to love me. I had no idea what real love felt llike. So this is defineately a hard time for me.And yes, I think it is high time that I dealt with these issues. There is no going back. I think if I did my health would break down completey. My body was telling me I needed to change my life but I was afraid to. So life just spun me on my head, picked me up by the hair and turned me inside out. Thak goodness I found this site.Thee are so many fellow travellers on this journey. Without support I dont think I could stand all the revelations of lies, betraal and abuse.

I cant blame my exN for all my pain. Some of it was there just waiting to be awoken long before he came along. That is hard for me. I want to make him responible for my pain. In the end I am an adult and I wast to carry it myself and  look at it and learn a better way.

Sea Storm

[Dazed1]

And yes, I think it is high time that I dealt with these issues. There is no going back.

Right on, (((((((((((((Sea)))))))))))), right on!!!!!!!!!

The truth hurts, but we can't (we CHOOSE not to) go back.

Love, dazed

[seastorm]

Dar Dazed

Somehow I missed your poignant response or it didn't register with me at the time. I find that I am quite fuzzy headed sometimes or that I dissoiciate and am not really present. This is an old coping mechanism.
I really apprecitate how you reached out and offered acknowlegement and support. You are so right about how hard this passage in life has been. What a phenomena. After four months I realize just a little, that in this horror show is also the chance to get things right in my heart and soul. There are old wounds that must be healed. I have opened up the door to working on my relationship with my mom. I could never do that before.

When they ask some people if they know in their hearts why they got a terminal ellness often those people will say that they know and it doesn't surprise them.
I don't have a terminal illness but I do have a deep psyhologicial woulnd that was destroying me. Strange as it may seem, the N opened to door to my healing.

Love,
Sea storm

[Leah]

Strange as it may seem, the N opened to door to my healing.

Stormchild,

Mine did too, if it were not for his final betrayal ... I would still be 'trapped' in a vacuum of emptiness ....... whereas now, four years on I am here ..... healed and restored ... having found ME at last. 

Set free ... free indeed.

So thankyou xnh .... thank you so much.

Leah