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October:

--- Quote from: Neko ---That doesn't sound awkward at all - actually I skipped over a lot when I wrote my post :? I did have someone with me through all that, my husband. However, like you I always felt a need to hide the worst from him... he was always able to tell though. His validation and support through it all, and not taking any nonsense from me at times were really key - so I totally understand you wanting to find someone to be with you.

Don't worry about your friend, he's probably a "normal" type who learned how to express anger healthily and so for him it's not as big of a deal as it is for us kids who learned that expressing emotions is life-threatening. Don't take his anger too personally! (and that's not some kind of criticism, just a suggestion - I always feel uncomfortable making suggestions, thinking "oh they've probably figured that out by now, don't be rude" etc. etc. :) )
--- End quote ---



Thanks Neko.  

If he is a normal type then that is fine, as you say - I just caught him at a bad time, and I know he has been very busy recently.  It's just that I wonder sometimes whether I have any healthy friends at all, and when a row comes out of nowhere it is easy to see shades of N behaviour in it.  I suppose many of us become Nish when we are rowing.  But that gives me the jitters, and I just want to run and hide.  Then of course the opposite thought comes in, that I am becoming paranoid.  So I live on this seesaw of emotions and conflicting thoughts of is it me or is it him/them.  And usually the best way to end any conflict is to give in and think, it must be me.  And always, the question why? over and over again.

However, as you say, to him this is not personal, and it is forgotten.  We pay a different price for having a disagreement.

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