The longest dream (not nightmare) that I can't wake up from......

[oc]

Considering we just got blasted by a blizzard it doesnt look like leaving the house will happen.  Plus I have a headache now that has me flat on my back.  Hopefully a good nights sleep will get rid of it.  I agree that I need to enjoy life while I am waiting rather than put my life on hold!

[oc]

I sent my mom an email and asked for 4 specific things I would need in order to stay at my business.  One was a lump sum of money to pay off debt.  Two the ability to come and go as I please.  And the promise of going to others to do her computer work that she does not know how to do and no long drawn out meetings.  I doubt if she will agree but I told her I would leave if not.  Is that emotional blackmail?

[Hopalong]

OC...
IMO, don't recommit to your mother before the end of next week, eh?
what about a very polite note written to the company you want to work for explaining:

I remain very eager to join you and put all my experience and skills to use to serve ___.
Because working for you is my first goal, I did want to let you know that as of March ___,
I will of necessity be renewing my understanding with my family business.

I understand that there have been many adjustments and changes for ___ recently,
I know how that is! Sometimes a search for the right candidate can get stalled.

I hope I have convinced all of you that I am the right person for the post, and I will
look forward to word from you soon. Best wishes, etc...
/

Hops
//

[Overcomer]

hops:  I know.  I realize that I am starting to back peddle since I am not hearing from the job and frankly, I am just so fed up with the delays.  I am not saying I will not go forward with this company IF the pay is where I need it to be.  I am too close to forcing a split from my over controlling nmom.  But after much thought, I decided IF she will go for my stipulations, then I could deal with it.  I would have financial and time freedom.  These are very important to me.

[Overcomer]

But I also know that her N ways will rear their ugly heads.  I know that I cannot trust her to change.  Her response to my email was......"don't you think you need to go back to counseling to deal with your negative feelings toward me?"  My response was, "If you would like to go back to Dr. A then go ahead, I have done enough research and reading that I am full aware of why I feel the way I do and there is nothing he is going to say that is going to change what I know is the truth."  I love that.  Deflecting it right back at her.  I also told her that I needed to feel validated.  Heard.  Then I asked her if she remembered when my grandfather said things to her that hurt her feelings.  I told her it hurt, didn't it?  Well, that is how I feel when you say things that harm my self esteem.  So I guess I kind of put her in a position.  Either give me a big sum of money or I will take the other job.  I just cannot imagine that she will give me that kind of money.  If she did, I would stay.......

[Overcomer]

Oh, and Hops?  I have.  I emailed and called the last person I interviewed with.  I have talked on several occasions with the person who would have been my DM.  I reapplied on careerbuilder and on the cover letter I stated my intent to work there and told them that the former DM considered me his first candidate.  Both two store managers and the DM have endorsed me to the new DM........so unless they found someone who just swept the new DM off his feet, I assume I am going to get that fifth interview.  But wow!!!  I cannot believe how long it is taking and I just think maybe God is working something out......I don't know.

[Hopalong]

To quote a sagacious person person who just helped me, OC:

All you can do is all you can do.

And you dunnit.

(But I still hope your frazzled nerves over this company's tortoise pace...I seem to have tortoises on my mind...don't guide you wrongly into a new ledge of tension with your mother...)


Hey! OC. This weekend is maybe going to be about NOT NOT NOT focusing on the work stuff, right? Some pleasant healthful diversions that make you laugh, or physically relax, or both????

Hops

[oc]

Hops, I took it easy all weekend as you suggested.  Did not obsess at all.  Went shopping and bought a lot of clothes and shoes.  Felt good about that.  Now I must admit that I am starting to lose interest in this job.  I have put my life on hold for 3 Months and I went into the store twice over the weekend and basically said "I am too good for you you idiots!"  So I am starting to be content to stay.  Am I insane?  Talk to me!

[oc]

I mean  I didnt really say they were idiots but I thought it.

[Hopalong]

Hi OC,
Maybe you got a glimpse of the fire so the frying pan started to feel comfy. 

I still think you don't need to make a major commitment to your mother right now...that seems like a self-created deadline, like a wedding, to resolve your inner tension over the PITA company that can't get its act together (and all the enormous enormous stress you felt waiting to hear).

All that's totally natural and I don't know whether it's insane or not but if you can bear to, my advice would be JUST BREAthe, and don't make another big dramatic decision re. your mother's business right now.

if you can continue to "float" I believe you won't trap yourself...

that help?

HOps

[oc]

It helps.  I agree on long term commitments because I Will be trapped.  But if she handed me some money I would be apt to stay but she wont because I asked for it almost like blackmail and she cannot do anything I want so the sense of obligation will not be there.

[oc]

oh, and by the way.....what does PITA mean???

[Hopalong]

(cover ears, delicates...) 

PITA = pain in the a**

[oc]

Very funny and true!  I texted the old dm And said "i think I have lost hope about this job.  I have not heard anything and it has been 3 Months since I first applied.  Any insight?"  He has not contacted me in return and I think it was a last ditch effort to contact these people and I dont think I care about the PITA Company.

[Overcomer]

Well, just as I was starting to think I was going to just grin and bear it at work, I got a call from another company that I applied to.  It is a company which sells beauty items.....make up, shampoos, flat irons, nail polish........that kind of thing.  The job I have been holding my breath on was fashion retail.  Anyway, I have an interview tomorrow morning and we'll see.  I cannot imagine they could pay me what I want and I was surprised that the fashion store would.  I guess there is ots of margin in fashion......anyway..............I don't really care so I'll bet I interview really well.  If I am not really wanting a job I do great.  Maybe it will grow on me........but I still am angry that the new DM didn't even call me for an interview.  After being interviewed four times and being assured that this new DM was less worried about fashion and more worried about day to day activities like hiring and training and making sure the customer is helped, etc.  That's what I am all about,  Mentoring the staff.  Teaching.  Training.  Helping customers.  So I still don't understand why but I guess I have to let it go.  I feel sorry for whoever gets the position because the store has been functioning without a manager for over three months....