Controlling People--Patricia Evans Good Book!

[Leah]

Thanks Leah,  I don't currently have a copy of the Verbally Abusive Relationship.  I read it a few years ago and the Reality I and Reality II concept she presented opened my eyes.  I was so confused and didn't understand the other person's abusive behavior.  When I was thinking the best of the her and trying to work things out, I was always caught off guard by her verbal attacks. I was using "I" statements, nonviolent communication,owning my own feelings, staying on my side of the street, etc. and to no avail.   It's amazing now, but I was so naive and couldn't understand it , but  it still  hurt. I blamed myself.  When I put the other Reality filter on that she was coming from a place of  "power over" then her behavior made sense.    

Oh Besee, me too.  Looking back, the not knowing of 'why' the verbal abuser was engaging as such, was most confusing.  The not knowing and not having a label ..... created immense difficulty in trying to explain to someone what was going on.  So it was like a real circle ..... with no end in sight. 

Her we are now, and at last we have some answers and as with any learning, it's lifelong along our path way in life.

Our sanctity now is being equipped and wanting to grow stronger with all that we have learned and will go on to learn.

Warm wishes and blessings.

Leah

[Hopalong]

Hi Besee,
If it's not too much hassle, could you explain what the best responses are when you realize someone is very controlling?
IOW, if you are in relationship with them, and that sort of dialogue is happening a lot...what are the healthiest ways to respond?

(I should not be lazy and go get the book.)

thanks,
Hops

[Hopalong]

Thank you, Besee.
That was very vivid.

And yikers.
I'd like to arm your heart chakra with the castoff ballgown of a Galapagos tortoise.

Err...probably didn't sound like it, but that's a good thing. 

Thanks again,
Hops

[DivineSunshine]

Sorry to keep this trivial thread alive as it seems obvious most here are embroiled in some controversy, of which I will steer clear....

BUT  I did want to say thanks for all of your support!

I really care about each and every one of you guys---I hope things will work out!

((((((((Everyone)))))))))))

Namaste,

Sunny

[CB123]

Sunny,

This isnt trivial.  This is what we are here to do.  Thanks for keeping it going.

CB

[axa]

Hi everyone,

Just reading through threads.......... when I met XN I was reading this book.  On an intellectual level I related it to him but on an emotional level I went straight into denial........... need to read it again.

axa