We have a lot of history together. He was a boyfriend of mine in 1976, and I introduced him to my sister. Because I didn't think we were that good a fit, and I thought that they would hit it off.
She doesn't know that we used to sleep together before their marriage. We didn't hook back up for 27 years. From what I hear their sex life is virtually nonexistent, and they stay together for financial reasons having a home, acreage, vehicles in common.
As he puts it, "If your sister ever finds out, it's going to be pretty expensive." Wasn't is Elizabeth Taylor who said something like, "You can't make a happy man stray."?
In the beginning -- three years ago -- I was divorced, celibate, and too self conscious about a weight gain to put myself back on the market. But I felt comfortable and safe with him. Because we had been together before. He wanted me desperately which was/is very flattering.
Now, three years down the road, we have explored our sexual fantasies together. That's a very strong bond.
I have a mother and sister who do not return my phone calls. I get an occasional note or email. I wasn't invited to Thanksgiving, Christmas, or my niece's college graduation last year. I get all my family information from the bil. Including the times that family members come to visit but I am not included. Maybe that's a lot of it. There is a smug feeling of satisfaction knowing things they don't want me to know. Passive-aggressive.
But he is kind to me, and he does care about me. He is a good man in many ways.