silence

[Hopalong]

OC,
I think you'll be rewarded simply because you keep applying and trying.

It will open up, and you'll be there, and it will work out.

Give yourself a present...the present.

hugs
Hops

[oc]

Well I am not sure what you meant but I really appreciate your response!

[Hopalong]

You're wecome, OC...

I was thinking back to that earlier advice I gave you about continuing your applications, but keeping your mental focus the rest of the time on being in the present...building new good self-loving habits and behaviors in the present...exercise, diet, reading, playing with your child...

love
Hops

[oc]

That is good advise.  But right now there are no jobs available.  It is like my life is on hold.  I am holding my breath with my mom but I know she will let me down.  I have had so much hope that suddenly she would change.  I just need to work on me you are so right!

[oc]

Well today was another day which sent me into "what was I thinking" mode.  My mother, true to form, reminded me why I have been looking for other jobs.  I cannot believe I hold out hope that she will change and step away from the business.  It doesnt take long for her to disappoint me!

[Hopalong]

Just you, that's right Kel, just you....

you can only change you...

only you....

maybe now is for learning how to unhook that part of you that keeps getting upset with her...

maybe it's for learning to build a healthy detachment while you keep functioning in the present...

(that's what I work on too, takes me a ton of practice and I slip, but it gets easier the more I do it...)

Hops

[oc]

Yes.  I resigned myself to the fact that all the jobs I had applied for were not going to happen and this investor guy seemed like he might be getting through to mom and them aunt weasels her way in and mom succumbs to the stupidity and back to square one.  How i have this and it all.  Yes Hops it has to be about me struggling through!

[oc]

Ok I have to stop using my phone.  I have no I idea what I just posted.  Frustrated for sure!