Yesterday I had a dream.
In the dream I was in a small, pretty apartment, the kind you might find in a small English town over looking a cobble stone court yard.
The apartment was furnished with little knick knacks and well lived in. It wasn't dirty, but there was lots of stuff everywhere. it was the kind of apartment that you could spend some time browsing in. there were lots of memories in that apartment.
I was in the bathroom when an old man came to the bathroom door. He was dressed and ready for the day in a pair of pants with suspenders and a nice white starched shirt. He lived there, too.
The old man resembled Henry Fonda in On Golden Pond and he spoke like that character.
He said to me, "You know, she's been online again."
He was referring to a woman who I knew quite well. She was in distress over a lost love (?) - I wasn't quite sure but she had hit rock bottom and was emotionally traumatized.
He was referring to an online dating forum. He said,
"She's been at it again." in that funny way that Henry Fonda's character spoke in the movie.
"Ask me how I know it's her? Ask me how I know, if she's using an anonymous name?I didn't reply but he continued:
"'Cause she told her story there, everything."He shook his head and laughed and went into the livingroom. The livingroom was flanked by two ceiling to floor french door windows that encased the whole room in beautiful, warm sunlight.
I thought to myself as he walked away,
'Boy, that's not good. She shouldn't expose so much of herself to those that she doesn't know. She'll be vulnerable and those who can hurt her might sense that and attack her.'
I walked into the livingroom and the woman was there. She had on a flowery satin robe and she seemed to be in her early 30s/ late twenties.
I asked them both if they wanted breakfeast and they both replied yes.
Knowing that it probably wouldn't be so good for the older man I made creamy, scrambled eggs that were gooey with melted cheese and toast slathered with butter.
I served both of them and they began to eat. My own plate remained on the side. As I asked them both if they'd like coffee, my food got cold.
They said yes and as I walked into the kitchen I hoped silently to myself that they wouldn't ask for milk or cream because i didn't have any.
The woman asked me if I'd move in with her. I came back in to get my food and was suddenly annoyed with her question.
'Why would I move in with you and become your roommate when I have my own home?' I asked, annoyed.
She said with a laugh,
'Well, I'm an Aquarious, you know I'll always try to get my way'.I replied angrilly,
'Well, I'm a leo and you'll never be able to boss me around!!!"I realized I forgot the coffee and I said so to the man and rushed off to get him the cup. I asked how he'd like it and he said black, two sugars and she said she didn't want any.
I heard her say to him as I walked off, " I need someone to help take care of me" and I suddenly realized that I might have misinterpreted her tone when I answered harshly.
I thought to myself,
I misinterpreted her tone and responded harshly - how many people have misinterpreted my tone and responded harshly and how many times have I attacked them for it. I thought maybe I could move in with her for a little while. I suddenly had a flash of a sweet little girl that I knew was her daughter. I knew she needed help with her and that she could use my help to take care of her. The daughter seemed sweet, innocent and quite content.
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In my dream I think the old man was the parent in my mind. This surprises me because my parent was always a larger than life woman, angry, hostile and condeming like my mom. Now my parent was a quirky, possibly pestering old man. Sweet and concerned about me in his own way.
The lady was me - I think. The part of me that has been traumatized. She has hit rock bottom and she's in need of care.
The child I think was also me - she is sweet and nice and she needs to be protected.
The plate of food left uneaten and cold represents the fact that I am not taking care of myself I think.
The apartment was my own home! I currently don't have any milk - so I think the dream meant to represent my life now, at this time.
The online conversation represented my reoccuring mistake in life of opening up too soon and to people who didn't have my best interest at heart. I was warning myself not to do that anymore.
