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Saying goodbye!

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autumn:
I've got to say that letter writing is probably the best way to say good bye. Every time I see my Ex Husband it re-opens old wounds - and sweet feelings, making the parting that much more difficult. I highly recommend staying physically apart while you heal.
I really like visualization for removing feelings of hurt, heck, any unwanted feelings. One of the reasons we stay with these people is because there's something about them that we like, right ? Even if it's how horrible they make us feel, sick as that is.
So I visualize the feelings that I want to leave, I give them a color and texture and a place in my body - and picture this sticky mess pouring out of me and crawling away, leaving a feeling of cleanliness and spaciousness in their wake, like after you clean the house and open all the windows to let in the fresh air.
Stay strong and brave - you're on the right track !
Autumn

kelly8893:
Thank you all for the great advice! I will try all of them! They all sound very good. I would never want to see him again. I really just want the feelings to go away!!!! All of them! But I do know it takes time. Everyone have a great weekend and thanks for letting me know that I have done the right thing and all will be well some day! I am so happy to know that it will get better some day!

 :D Kelly

Guest today:
I had a friend who was in an extreme relationship with her Nhusband.  She left him.  Afterwards, it took a long time to heal.  She eventually got involved with another man.  It was a good relationship... much healthier.  She found that at times her new relationship was boring.  She missed the drama, the adrenilin of the N relationship.... I know that might sound weird, but she felt important and valuable to N (even though in reality she was not) and for years she had lived the wife-of-N role.  Her therapist told her that it was like leaving a drug addiction. In a way, she had been addicted to her N-relationship.... so transitioning to a new way of life was like withdrawal.  And her xN was the drug.

She is healthy and happy now.  She stayed strong and did not go back to Nxhusband.  She gave me this advice when I left my N.  It has helped me to Understand that I was an active part of my N relationship.  And that even when leaving is the best idea... there is a tremendous change that occurs.  And time helps.  And eventually, things heal.  And you become drug free.

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