I broke free

[5 years of confusion]

  I have not written for several months but I am now here to say thank you to all of you for being there and supporting me during my difficult days.

The divorce papers have been filed and my stuff is almost out of the house and I am so happy to be free that I am not fighting for anything. He and I do not speak, only email and I find that it works best that way. His emails range from poor poor him..to...his life became a cesspool after he and I got together; He doesn't come right out and say it is me but the undercurrent is there.

He wants to fight about everything, including custard dishes, I'm not going to do it, I simply say, if you want it, it's yours.  A very good friend gave me some sage advice...Think of it as buying back your happiness...Honestly, I would rather buy new custard dishes then fight over them...I'm not looking back and life really looks good. I am finding out that there are people out there that will not use you and don't want to have a relationship with a "victim". It helps me to really work on me and be my own person. Ladies, there are terrific men out here it's just that we are so accustomed to the jerks that we can't see the forest for the trees. Let me give you a little advice, when the nice guys do come along, don't blame them for the abuser's abuse, don't assume that they will be the same way, it's not fair to them. If you have really worked on yourself and are ready to start a life without abuse, the good one's will show up and you will recognize them...

[axa]

Thanks 5 years.  Working on figuring myself out and keeping well away from abuse.  Good luck with your N free life

axa

[Hopalong]

Hi Five Years:

You deserve a HIGH-FIVE, woman!

Hops

[5 years of confusion]

Thanks Hops,

Today I took a few hours off from work and moved the rest of my stuff, the house is now his, as per his request.

I have to be honest, it got to be a bit hard there towards the end. The emails and the notes he left at the house were becoming uglier and uglier but I did not reply, I may have shed some tears, but no reply, I kept the upper hand. He was beginning to accuse me of going through his things, stealing from him and taking things that he claims were his before the marriage, but I know exactly when I purchased the items during the marriage. He tells me what an ugly person I am and how mean spirited I am by moving out so quickly but you and I know that that is the only way to do it. Ladies, when you make your escape, make it quick...It's like ripping off a bandaid, it only stings for a little while.then the pain ebbs away..He wanted the separation to span a period of 6 months with our deciding day by day who gets what..I saw that for the smoke screen it was, he was just trying to keep me around and wear me down into submission again..

So today is my first day being "N" less and I am very calm. With lots of luck and good karma I will be divorced by June 1st 2007...