Dear Hop, you are great, and you have been of great help to me. Still I think that you were yelling at me. Not because I thought you were yelling at me. But because you thought you were yelling at me. That means, you were yelling at me. That means you were irritated thinking that I should know better. And it is true. I should know better. I know better. I just do not feel better. I know she is incapable of feeling for other people. I understand everything I read in the website. Still I do not feel better. I also get irritated with women who stay with N husbands and come to the board and whine about it but still stay there. It is the same process. Healing our selves, take care of our selves on our own, take care of our needs.
Yesterday my mom kissed my boss on the chick. Why? I do not know. This is America, we do not kiss in this country. She knows better. But she kissed him. She is 69. Fortunately my boss did not react negatively. After all, I have a good boss.
Thank you God for my boss.
Dear Ami, although the suffering of others is not consolation to me, it feels better to know that there is other people suffering the same, that I am not crazy. That I am not the only one that deals with a mother with whom you cannot discuss, her thought process is twisted, and they do not process information the same way we do, They just spend too much time inflating their ego.
At least I too her to her favorite store and she had a good time, I took her to the gym and she had a good time and today I am trying to write here. She usually wants my attention totally devoted to her, to the point to asphyxiating me. But for some reason, today is allowing me a moment of freedom so I can write here.
She already changed everything of place in my kitchen, I cannot find anything in my kitchen. Last night she remembered me that I humiliated her on Tuesday morning and that if I mistreat her again that she will tell my brother not to send my sister in low to visit me. She has no idea that I am so desperate for love that with a little love I would be kissing her feet. But instead she threatens me with the same things she has done all my life. Isolating me. Making everybody hating me. Inventing stories to tell the family and say that I mistreat her. Accused me of flirting with her husband, when I was 20, also when I was 11. How can I flirt with her husband when I was 11, and my father just died, when I was 11?
Suddenly, I was 11, my father died, three months later my mother married again and she left me with my grand mother for 6 months. Because I was flirting with her husband. I lost my father, my brother, my sister, and my mother, at once. She went to live to another city with her husband and my brother and sister, left me in another city with my grandmother.
Now she said that never happened. She lies. But she believes her lies. She remarried again ans accused me of flirting with her new husband that by the way was my age. Then accused me of flirting with my sister’s husband. My sister prohibited me to talk to her husband at all.
Now she is here, telling everybody there that she spent all her savings to come take care of her daughter.
I am numbed. I know that my mother is incapable of knowing what I feel. She has no idea. But still, she fed me, she gave me roof, and she is here to help. I have to move on, and enjoy the little things she does. She is fixing food for us to eat.
Please, friends, keep writing me and giving me scientific knowledge and ideas on this problem.
Thank you dear friends of this dear board.
I have to rememeber that my mother honestly suffers and she does not even know why.
