How do know if someone is narsistic?

[BonesMS]

I am sorry.Bones. You have had so many betrayals. My heart goes out to you   Love  Ami

Thanks, Ami.

I've been looking back at all the little incidents that seemed strange at the time and they all appear to fit into an N pattern.

Bones

[Ami]

Bones,isn't it horrible to face it?                                                       Ami

[BonesMS]

Bones,isn't it horrible to face it?                                                       Ami

Yes, it is.

Bones

[sea stormr]

Yes it is


sea storm

[Hopalong]

You okay, Sea?

Hops

[BonesMS]

I encountered an incident yesterday that brought up more questions for me.

I was vending at a yard sale most of the day.  At the end of the day, given that my friend (girl from high school) and I had sold some stuff, it initially appeared that she would have enough room in her station wagon to cart off what she didn't sell to the Salvation Army and I could head straight home to work on my own errands.  That's when she springs on me that, without my knowledge, she had dropped off additional stuff in another friend's garage, the night before, and she ASSUMED that I was going to put her stuff in MY car for her convenience as she didn't have room!  I didn't care that her other friends, plus her sister were standing there.  I told her that I did NOT appreciate having this kind of surprise sprung on me, without any warning or prior discussion, at the very LAST second!  (She has a bad habit of ASSUMING that I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, and be automatically available for whatever SHE wants at her convenience.  She doesn't throw tantrums.  She plays "pseudo-stupid" and forces you to explain the OBVIOUS repeatedly.)  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bones

[Stormchild]

... umm...

her stuff is NOT in your car, is it? That's the bottom line.

Ugh. This stuff is everywhere!

[Ami]

Bones
    What are you asking,Bones?                          Ami

[kaylebsmommy702]

Dear Hope-

For so long I couldnt figure out what was wrong with my X. We have been broken up for 4 years now, and just recently I began to research personality disorders. When I read the criteria for Narcissism, I swore my ex WAS the case study. Every one of the 9 criteria to diagnose him was right on! And then somewhere in my research, I found this message board. I am currently going through a custody battle with him over our 5 year old son. To make a long story short, you are in the right place. Everone in here has been so instrumental in my battle, and I encourage you to keep posting because it helps!!! I was so skeptical when I first posted under Custody battle with a N... And I recently went through an evaluation, and EVERYTHING was in his favor. Thank GOD the Judge saw through him and the evaluator, and did not go with the evaluators reccomendations!!! I couldnt have done it w/o posting here and getting the great advise I got RIGHT HERE!!! I wish you all the best, Hope.

KM

[BonesMS]

... umm...

her stuff is NOT in your car, is it? That's the bottom line.

Ugh. This stuff is everywhere!

Her church members went ahead and placed some of it in my car.  I told her she had to come to my place to reclaim it as I was NOT going to the Salvation Army and I am NOT going to be a delivery service!  I let her know that I do NOT appreciate being imposed upon like this and I voiced this in front of witnesses!

Bones

[BonesMS]

Bones
    What are you asking,Bones?                          Ami

I guess I'm asking if her assuming and imposing on me, like she did, is N-behavior?

Bones

[Ami]

It does not matter what the 'label' is . She is imposing on you and that it enough to know(IMO).I,personally, could not tell if she is an N or it is N behavior from that small amount of information                            Love  Ami

[BonesMS]

It does not matter what the 'label' is . She is imposing on you and that it enough to know(IMO).I,personally, could not tell if she is an N or it is N behavior from that small amount of information                            Love  Ami

Thanks, Ami.

Bones

[BonesMS]

To me, it feels like N-ish behavior because she appears to "give herself permission" to impose on others and she "assumes it's OK" because she assumes that everyone else thinks the same way she does.  One of the times she wanted to do something that was inconvenient at the time, and I told her "No, not now", she complained that I was "being difficult".  She got an earful, from me, about how she needs to stop and think about how what she wants to do impacts other people around her.  Then she started to act "pseudo-stupid", which annoys the hell out of me!

Bones

[changing]

The information here is fascinating- I never connected my NH's somatic complaints with his N condition. He has suffered since his late teens from a choking sensation, the origin of which has evaded extensive medical investigation. He also uses another name, which the article mentions is a device for "self-parenting". I suppose his N behavior was a coping mechanism of sorts- it seems that others posting are able to deal with the N behavior in spouses better than I have. This is he first full day that he is gone, and I am thinking about my contributions to the chaos of our marriage.