Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
healing
Anonymous:
Hi Wildflower,
--- Quote ---[Tonight right now, and it's the memoirs of a woman who grew up in Africa. It seems as though she accepts her life - good and bad, real bad. I don't want to go around advertising ... but I'm not sure I want to ... reject who I've been in the past. Not anymore. Can I accept who I am and never let on at the same time? Ponder ponder splash ponder.
--- End quote ---
This was specifically in reference to workplace situations, I've found it necessary. Especially being female. :D In personal relationships it's different, I think there's such a thing as appropriate disclosure. I wasn't thinking this means rejecting who I've been in my past. It's just that for me personally, I've often found some people don't understand, or will use certain information for gain and advantage. Or even misunderstand completely and think I need advice or sympathy that I may not appreciate. Tricky boundary things come up.
A counsellor advised me a while ago, "There is appropriate and inappropriate sharing of historical personal information. And also, you need to learn to consciously assess who is entitled and who isn't. Only you can decide, but in most cases less is better than more while your working on your low self-esteem." I found that advice invaluable, partly because of changed outcomes subsequently and partly I felt it put me even more in the control seat of my life. :D Does that make sense?
I guess to, she was taking into account the extent of the horrid details. My history is pretty messy and hard to comprehend even for me sometimes :shock:. So I've come to understand how much harder for outsiders and new folk who come along into my life. Quite frankly, I've found some people and relationships I have are much better off and happier without being burdened with it. While some closer relationships have grown and even flourished as a result of disclosure. It's an individual case-by-case judgment call only I can make.
--- Quote ---Oh, and wow on the unconditional love reversal. I so didn't see that :shock:.
--- End quote ---
Dare I ask? I'm wondering how that makes you feel?
(((HIGS & more HIGS)))
CG
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[*] Previous page
Go to full version