If the chicken crosses the road back and forth, repeatedly, while worrying about being hit to the point until it forgets which side it started on in the first place, it has Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder.
· If the chicken crosses the road in traffic because "they" are coming after it and "they" control the traffic lights - oh, and the cars are part of the plot to kill it too - then it has Paranoid Personality Disorder.
· If the chicken crosses the road against the light and then takes a baseball bat to every car that passes it, then it has Antisocial Personality Disorder.
· If the chicken crosses the road because it thinks all the other chickens are talking about its feathers and therefore its feathers must be ugly and it must hide from everyone, it has Avoidant Personality Disorder.
· If the chicken crosses the road so it can cause a huge melodramatic scene and get everyone's attention, it has Histrionic Personality Disorder.
· If the chicken is furious that he is abandoned to make the decision concerning when to cross the road alone and spends his day roaming back and forth manipulating other chickens into crossing when he tells them, the chicken is Borderline.
· If the chicken will not cross the road because there are other chickens across the street and stands there daydreaming about a glorious road in his imagination, he is Schizoid.
· If the chicken crosses the road and expects a marching band, reporters and hoards of adoring fans to be there to celebrate this achievement, it has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
