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Myers-Briggs personality types

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rosencrantz:
The other thing about introvert/extravert which I found very, very interesting is that the introverts go inside for their awareness and understanding of the world whereas extraverts go to the outside world for affirmation and confirmation.

And that the way forward for each is to go in the opposite direction.  So Is should start getting input from the outside world while Es should believe in their own inner world.

Certainly fits my experience - anything you tell me is true; not so sure about what my inner experience tells me.  I'll search the internet for confirmation of something being true but I'm the last one I would think of consulting!!!

R

Portia:
So no more message board for you R!  :wink:  :wink:  :)  :wink:

This explains why you are so helpful with giving information, posting web-links etc etc and why I chuck my thoughts down and have big conversations with myself.

You see when I see you (or anyone) post a link, I think that they are giving part of themselves, something they value and have a good opinion of…and if it’s inappropriate, I think, what are they thinking of….but it ain’t like that is it? You’re reaching out, mixing..I found this so helpful (from teamtechnology, already lost who posted that but thank you!)

Extroversion    -                                      Introversion
social                    -                                      private
expressive                     -                                     quiet :?:
many                       -                                    few
broad                       -                                   deep
interaction                        -                                  concentration
outward                         -                                 inward
action before thought :!:    -                                thought before action

Does this mean that E’s have more difficulty with anything to do with psychology? I get your comment about it doesn’t matter with your friends, you don’t think of them in these terms….but I probably would, if I had any friends!!  :lol: LOL! Enough. P (I think I have a friend :D )

Nic:
Hi everybody...the introvert is here!!!  :lol:

Count me in as an INFJ..fascinating stuff and thanks for the link.  Write, you're so right! ( pun!)  Are we really that attracted to Ns because we see their potential..to then be taken around the block by them and dumped?  Maybe so..but you know, your analysis of this I feel is highly accurate.

I'm part of a very small 1% of the population!  8)  I'm a rarety! :?  I'm complex! :shock:  No me?

I'm not sure I needed to know all of this at this time in my life..honestly though, when I look at the description of INFJs, I fit right in..especially the part about knowing intuitively what is going on without having a great deal of experience and or education on a given subject..at least now I know i'm not that weird either.
I will venture to not let my 89% score on Introverted iNtuitiveness dominate my entire way of life, as I think it has both in the past and recently!
Write, i'm still thinking about the attraction to Ns though..and it worries me some.  There is a potential love interest in my life at the present time who is complex and troubled to a degree...i've had a lot of "feelings" and "knowing" related to him..green lights and yellow lights and stop lights all at once.  Can you relate to that?  I haven't quite figured out if it is at all a good thing for me and am being careful not to let my own hang-ups get in the way.  I'm spiraling a bit..downward i'm afraid...

What i hate the most about being an INFJ, ( only known i'm that since 48 hours btw! :roll: ) is my ability to be instantly swept off my feet when I connect with that certain unseen energy that some people have...since i'm introverted and somewhat secretive, I pursue certain interests on an entirely other level and it's lonely. They say INFJs always want to pursue knowledge and information in the search for wisdom and that we/they don't really ever experience total peace with themselves....what a jolly life plan that is!!! :x

That being said..i'm happy to have come across this tid-bit of info and will rush away to force everyone I know to take the test!  I need to know.. :lol:  :lol:

Being INFJs, do you all feel like you get off one thing and on to another with incredible and incalculable automaticity?  Should one just accept that and strive for the best in this respect too?

Answers and comments please to help me get used to my new label!
And i'm not jesting here...fire away!

Love Nic! oi!

write:
Write, i'm still thinking about the attraction to Ns though..and it worries me some. There is a potential love interest in my life at the present time who is complex and troubled to a degree...i've had a lot of "feelings" and "knowing" related to him..green lights and yellow lights and stop lights all at once. Can you relate to that? I haven't quite figured out if it is at all a good thing for me and am being careful not to let my own hang-ups get in the way. I'm spiraling a bit..downward i'm afraid...


Yup! I can relate...I can usually tell within a few minutes of meeting someone how well we'll get on; if it's a man and we connect...oh dear...major emotional fireworks.

But remember it comes from a lot of neural connections- replaying old scripts and relationships, not all good. When another person's DNA starts talking to yours take a deep breath & check out the gene pool around you!

I've always had a tendency to be overly self-reliant to the point of stubbornly believing what I want to believe in relationships, ignoring the rest. I've had to retrain myself as to what is healthy and what I want, and to take care of myself first. And to slow down and trust that things will happen without me needing to be constantly forcing them, afraid to just be.

What I once would have called love I now see as only the start of a relationship, the potential for love somewhere down the line.
Falling in love is a beautiful start but it's only a small bit of a relationship, and it's easy to fall in love with an ideal or image rather than the real person, especially when everyone's on their best behaviour.

Unfortunately we grow up thinking that games are a good way to initiate and undertake relationships, and that 'falling in love' is everything in life. A lot of the stuff we do in romantic relationships is gameplaying, and there are a number of people- players they can be reliably called- who are only in it for the game.

Narcissists are players and incapable of real intimacy, it would be too painful for them.
It would be too painful for us too if we're honest- would we really be open to knowing and supporting such an injured troubled person who is nothing we thought they were also abusive & destructive?

It's not just that we pick narcissistic people - they are attracted to strong talented individual thinking people, and they have learned what to project that hooks us into thinking their potential ( rather than their reality ) makes it worth it.

How many people have been in long-term relationships with a narcissist only to lose themselves in trying to fix ( or just trying to exist alongside ) the narcissist: we probably give off all the vibes early on that we are capable of doing this, this high level of self-sacrifice, and that we appreciate genius and sensitivity ( easy to fake early on ) and accept eccentricity and individuality...and then we don't challenge or call the narcissist on their behaviour or selfishness.

So that is what the narcissist tunes into: our idealism, pragmatism, ability and acceptance, coupled with us being damaged and having a fragile self-esteem.

In some ways we are like the narcissist, with high ideals and fragile sense of self...except we give to heal ourselves, where they take.

There's some of my ideas on it!

The answer is to take relationships slowly, to take care of yourself and be perfectly happy and capable of being alone first before taking a partner- being sure it's a choice not a need.

And to bail out at the first sign of deceit or abusiveness.

After all, if the person has enough potential you can always say 'I like you but I think you have some stuff to sort out before you're ready for a relationship' and pick it up later.

Someone recently said this to me, and mighty refreshing it was too!

I read last week: 'if someone is attracted to you while you are depressed or not functioning well be sure it is because they are looking for someone to feel superior to or control or abuse'.
It works the other way too- why choose to have a relationship with someone who is 'complex and troubled'. Let him go for therapy & work on himself first, while you work on you.

My experience is that once I was reasonably happy with myself I saw the folly of being desperate to be in a relationship at a price to my peace and wellbeing. Because I want a relationship to enhance mine and the other person's life- not to prove something to myself or the world.

And my latest experience as I am getting further into this state of mind is that more people- healthy people- are becoming involved in my life, not the loneliness I once feared ( yet ironically experienced in my underdeveloped relationships anyway )

I no longer want to 'lose myself' in another person; I want to find myself and take care of myself, and step into the life-flow knowing I can cope with what happens, not needing to control things by trying to make them what I want to be or happen too fast.

Good things will happen to you Nic, learn to believe it.

Take care.

rosencrantz:
Hi Portia - I missed your message here earlier.  No more message boards - yikes!  That's my 'reaching out into the world bit'.  Can't give that up.  But - whose opinions to value?  Hmmm - yes, I take the point!  :wink:  You see, it's much more difficult for the E to trust what's going on inside.  "I feel, think x - would someone confirm that for me, please."  :D  :D  So that's the kind of problem an E would have with psychology things.  

Sure you've got a friend - and why?  Because you're absolutely delightful.  So...how are lots of other people going to discover that you are absolutely delightful?????   :wink:  It's a toughie isn't it - as soon as we come up against other people we lose not only our voice but our personality, our confidence and all the rest of 'us' so nobody sees us and we reinforce all those voices in our head that say we're not only voiceless but invisible!!!  Actually that's not entirely true!!!!!!!  I've always found that people 'spot' me straight away and I've gone away thinking 'how could they possibly have responded to me 'as if' I'm a nice, sociable person when I was feeling so despressed (or whatever)'?????!!!  I'd forgotten that. People may not 'know' you but they get a sense of your 'essence' and that 'essence' might be just what somebody else is looking for!!! (I'm just taking a moment to throttle that therapist for having taken away my voice, my personality AND my confidence - back in a minute!)

Offering info etc is just my way of bringing people together.  It just got a bit lonely when I realised I was bringing other people together all the time, getting a great sense of satisfaction, but I wasn't bringing anyone in for myself!!  But (as usual) it seems I missed the point.  I was reading some stuff about networking the other day and that's what you're supposed to do.  I guess more of my childhood stuff just got in the way of believing in myself and believing good things would come from what I do naturally.

Soooo - your mother's an extravert!!!!!  :idea:  A-ha!!!  Well, we're not all bad.  :wink:  :wink:  Actually, we're all as bad as one another - we need to connect with other people like 'life itself'!!!

Nic - new LOVE interest - what are you saying??!  LOVE???  :shock:  Or is this just a glitch in the translation??  

I think Introverts will be particularly susceptible to the Extraversion of the N (especially in the States where E is so highly valued) - they appeal to my shy, hesitant side as they exhibit supreme confidence and never experience confusion!  

But I think Ns  target NFs as we are so easy to manipulate.  No thinking caps!!  Intuition might tell us this is 'not a good thing' but our feelings lead us to feel sorry for people, be tender-hearted and all the rest of it.  Guilt trip heaven!!!  And if you are also a P - well think of all the possibilities that this N might be 'cured'!!!  So I'd guess that an INFP is probably the most likely to get targetted by an N - then an INFJ, an ENFP and an ENFJ in that order!  Pure speculation, but an educated guess!!!

BTW if you're getting conflicting signals, I'd run fast.  Forget hang ups!!!  Confusion is the key to 'here be dragons', it seems to me!!!

Hi write - just read your 'take' on it all, too.  I don't disagree, just coming at it from a different angle.

BTW Portia - Just had another thought about your mother and THE FACTS. We E/Ps are just not into precision of that nature. Ask my H (an I/J) what the time is and he'll tell you 10.24 and 15 seconds. I'll tell you it's around half past ten!!!    :shock:  :wink:
R

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