I feel relief Tanya!! So glad you're not going to back out of that lease! I'm relieved to hear that and see you write it! I'm truly happy for you and your son! You're going to be so much better off!!
As to guilt and what's normal? Ha! Like I would know??

I use the term usually with brackets, normal (whatever that is).
How about learned? How about what you learned growing up in that nutty place? Have you been taught to feel guilt and be responsible for others? Then, yep, it's normal.
And when you leave there and teach yourself that that kind of guilt is loony and useless and that you are only responsible for yourself and your son? That will be normal too!! From then on (only I'd say healthy! (whatever that is)? Ok, healthier! Does that make sense?
Fear? Anything new will produce a certain amount of it, I think. How about thinking about it as doubt? We all have doubts. They don't paralyze us though. So rather than let the fear rule, maybe you can change your thoughts around to consider some reasonable doubts, think of some solutions/alternatives/bonuses/etc and maybe you won't feel quite so afraid.
Who wouldn't be afraid after what you've been through? The trick is not to cave in to fear, in this case, since it's only temporary. Once you're settled in your new place, enjoying the peace and tranquility that you WILL feel, knowing you're responsible for the correct stuff....yourself and your child, beginning a new life where you might actually enjoy some of your dreams.....
.......you may think: "How the heck did I ever feel afraid of this?"
Oh your new place sounds lovely!! Focus on being excited and kick that guilt to the curb!! It's not appropriate. Tell yourself it's not appropriate. Start the training!!
Because you have to teach your son the healthiest stuff you can!
(Hey! We all need a kick now and then! Besides, you've been kicking yourself more than anyone. Just in the wrong places, maybe?)
Sela