Bella,
Is it really unusual for Narcissists to use physical violence? And he was my father, not my spouse. Is it possible to be both a psychopath and a narcissist? He fits the description on a Narcissist who uses cruel violence to destroy ("create" in his opinion) into what he wanted. Is this characteristic of any particular disorder?
I'm so sorry for the mixup El! That is so awful that you were raised in the same home as a violent father. Hugs to you! I can only imagine the pain you have suffered.
I'm afraid I do not know much about Narcissists and their level of violence towards children. That is something I have not read about, El. Is your father generally violent? Or is it something he directed mainly at his children and in secret? My mother is a Somatic narcisisst and I can confirm that she went through violent spells. I suppose she let herself off the hook as mother because she could pass it off as `discipline'. But the reality is she would get into moods, target the weakest of us and then use violence to `blow off steam'. For example, when my little sister was learning to read, my mother would pick out books that were too difficult for her to read and make her try to read them each night. My little sister would struggle with the advanced words, and so my mother would beat her over and over for what seemed like hours. It became a habit for some months; possibly as long as a year. She would also fly into violent rages a lot when we were teens.
But I feel that, like a lot of narcissists, she was very careful about protecting her `image' as a perfect mother. So when she was violent, she was extremely secretive about it and she always had justifications. Mostly she was emotionally abusive.
Psychopathy seems like a different entity to me, although psychopaths seemingly have similar emotional goals to Narcissists on the surface, such as the need to feel powerful and superior. A major difference to me is that psychopaths seem to get their sense of power directly from anti-social behaviour especially violence and intimidation. Narcissists seem to get theirs from carefully nuturing and protecting a fantasy where they consider themselves `perfect and superior'. If naricissists are rarely violent, it would be because such behaviour would interfere with their fantasy of being perfect.
PS. Great links Stormchild!
