Narcissist Info (cont) CAN NARCISSIST BE SOOTHED?

[reallyME]

WHAT COMFORTS AN AVERAGE PERSON WILL ANGER A NARCISSIST

What EVOKES SYMPATHY, EVOKES BRUTALITY FROM NARCISSIST

When someone's reaction is opposite of what is called for, notice THAT RED FLAG THE FIRST TIME IT IS SHOWING.  AVOID THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Pray for them, talk to God about them, but AVOID THEM.

If the narcissist gets upset, the victim will begin trying to find out WHY at first.  This will result in the narcissist ignoring the question, twisting the conversation, making things appear as though the victim "ALWAYS HAS SOME ISSUE OR PROBLEM AND IS JUST TRYING TO CAUSE TROUBLE OR UPSET THE NARCISSIST." 

(keep in mind, the narcissist was upset to BEGIN WITH)

The only thing that SOOTHES a narcissist is MORE NARCISSISTIC SUPPLY FROM YOU OR ANY OTHER THAT THEY DEEM "WORTHY" or someone to EMULATE

[debkor]

Laura,

Oh you mean when my ex was upset because of his magical thinking of some girl he was going to zero in on totally blew him off and had no such feelings or thoughts.  She had no clue what he was up too. I guess she didn't give the supply he thought he was going to get.  He devalued her also when he learned it was a NO WAY going to happen.

I didn't know at the time until he was so upset the more I asked whats wrong the more he said nothing and got more angry.  Then came in the THEY ALWAYS TELL ON THEMSELVES.

Me: Whats wrong you are acting weird
Him:  Nothing I'm fine, looking miserable
Me:  Are you sure, your acting like something happened
Him:  You always want to argue
Me:  I'm not, I'm simply asking a question. You look like something is bothering you.
Him:  See this is why men talk to other women.  Not Me. I'm just saying, if you keep asking nagging then they meet other
        people that they enjoy the conversation, you know good friends, (NOT SEXUAL) just friends, not me but it does
        happen.
Me:  You really are a dumbass aren't you?
Him:  Eyes deer caught in headlights.

 

If the narcissist gets upset, the victim will begin trying to find out WHY at first.  This will result in the narcissist ignoring the question, twisting the conversation, making things appear as though the victim "ALWAYS HAS SOME ISSUE OR PROBLEM AND IS JUST TRYING TO CAUSE TROUBLE OR UPSET THE NARCISSIST

Oh yeah!!  Been there done that. 

Deb
       

[Ami]

WOW Deb and Laura,
   Profound insights. With my N friend , he would have a lot of 'opposite "reactions. If someone found out that they had a  disease, he would laugh and scorn If someone died, he would really laugh.
  My mother has" opposite" reactions. If I am afraid or dependent, she will rage  rather than comfort.If I would share something cute that the kids did, she would get angry.If I shared something sentimental, she would 'mock".
  It is a scary thing to face how much of their 'humanness" is gone. It brings up Vaknin's image of the "living dead."
   When I was talking to my aunt, what hit me was her 'humanness. She showed so many 'emotions' and reactions in the hour that we spoke. She showed shame, guilt, joy , sadness, compassion,love, pain, embarrassment etc. I did not think about this until your thread, Laura.
  A"normal" or human person has a spectrum of emotions. I could not "put my finger "on what made my aunt different. It was this. She had a rich  ,full spectrum of emotions. I can really see the difference with my M.
   I  need help ,here, also                                Love Ami