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Denial

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mary:
Proserity,  I am struggling with my husband.  My kids were falling apart with depression as we went into therapy as the months went on we learned that my husband is N and so is his mother.  It explained so much of what has happened in our lives.  I have pulled away from his mother and that has been a relief.  I have blamed my relationship with her mostly on myself and she has been mean and manipulative.  My husband has been wonderful and terrible.  There has been so much that was terrible.  He has expressed so much dissatifaction with our kids.  He talks to one kid saying bad things about another one.  He has brought about a lot of  pain.  Everyone had to be super intelligent like him or be a dissapointment to him.  None of us could ever quite be as smart and as wonderful as he is.   Now that we realize that he is N I realize that I have built a world in my mind .  That world has tried to make sense of his behavior and really was kind of filled with hope.  Now I am trying to figure out what is real.  I cant figure it out yet.  I have so throughly moved into this world of finding a way to survive that I don't know how to find my way out of it.  I dont  know for sure what is real.  I wanted to smooth out things for my kids but now I am learning about how he talked to them behind my back.  My daughter says that she feels a lot of what I feel.  She says that they(the kids) lived in an unreal world too.   I am struggling to find  what is real.  I am struggling to understand what has happened to us.  I am angry too that we are so hurt by him.  My kids will never get their childhoods back ofcourse but maybe they can get a handle on this and get it behind them.  The therapist says that they are not N.  I am grateful that it stops here.  Now if we can get our lives into a real place and feel some happiness.

Prosperity:
More like, Alcoholics Anonymous.  GA not a suggestion out of line....hubby drinks all his money away in bars.  There are usually three places I am almost guaranteed to find him at one of them if I call there.
Prosperity

Prosperity:
Mary,

I am sorry to hear of the struggles with your family.  Thank you for sharing it.  It helps to feel that others know what I am experiencing.  The situations sound similar.  It gives me a window into the future for my children, and ideas for some ways i could prevent or reduce some of the damage to them from their father.  Just the awareness of it alone has got to be some help.

Prosperity

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