Resa - I wholeheartedly concur with Hops - preparation, careful planning with an expert's help is a MUST. I had a friend whose N husband's job moved him to Seattle. He had been abusing her for years in a way no one knew about - physically abusing her in places where the bruises wouldn't show, beating her with rubber hoses which apparently caused internal but not external bruising. He was successful and she still had two kids in school. After a year in Seattle, both kids were in college. She made her move. She had used the previous year with a therapist who helped her plan finances VERY carefully. She put things in her name only, moved money to other banks he didn't know about, etc. When she actually moved, he was livid but could do nothing. She went out of state and had enough to live on til she found a job. Talking with someone who can help you plan everything down to the smallest detail will give you courage and confidence. You will be surprised. I wish the best for you - and keep writing here.
Kate