That's right, Ami. My mother is damaged in ways that made it difficult for her to love, very narcissistic, has many of the N traits...but not with enough of an edge to qualify her for a full NPD diagnosis. She's close, but on the continuum, not at its outer limit.
She is simply very very N-ish. Totally self-absorbed, manipultive, entitled, lacking empathy, but without conscious cruelty. She was damaged by her daughter-abusing, entitled preacher father. But she has done good in her life, and has done the best she knew how. She has a religious and etiquette code that she cleaves to that prevent outright abuse and attack, as so many here have suffered.
The subtle stuff was very hard to identify, to suss out. It was decades of therapy before I was able to understand why I felt so damaged.
Hops
