What would I do without you guys. All the replys to my post HELP me sooooooooooo much, I don't know if you have any idea of the impact of your care when you sit at your computers and post to me. They sustain me in a way nothing else does. I always feel this place is such a comfort and caring place.
CB,
What you write about seeing you X resonated with me. When XN came to my house the last time I did not recognise him. I kept thinking this is so weird. I lived with this man, slept with him but I had no idea who he was. It was so strange I looked hard at him to see my xpartner but the man in front of me was a stranger, even physically, I did not recognise him. I know he has not changed so obviously it was me. I had seen someone completely different to the person who stood in front of me.
The anger I have felt BORES me to death at this stage. It reminds me of a bad toothache that keeps throbbing, I get so frustrated and angry with it nagging away in the background. Maybe this is the place I needed to come to ......... complete and utter boredom with the thought of El Creepo.
My course starts on 24th September, can't wait. I think it is like when you were on the farm, bit of no mans land. BUT I am excited too, bit scared also.
Towrite,
Trying the cuddling, thanks moving through things now thankfully.
Ami,
I think I need to remember that this is a significant life change for me. I have gone back into old mode. You know, I can manage anything, just get on with it blah blah blah. I need to be gentle with myself and acknowledge the major changes I have made over the past months. I think I do not give myself any credit for what I have achieved, the queen of discounting here.
Thanks all,
axa