Narcissist Info (cont) THE NARCISSIST IS A CON-ARTIST!

[reallyME]

The Narcissist is a con-artist

They break you so utterly, that you end up ultimately giving yourself up to the abuse.

They know you and they know what moves you, even better than YOU do.  Narcissists are people-watchers and studiers, and MASTERS OF MIND-CONTROL!

A con-artist is a "confidence artist" or, in other words, a person who "gains your confidence, in order to get you to put all your trust in them."

They get you over to their side and then, slowly, like a spider, paralyze you and such out your innards (life)

To justify the CON, the narcissist views themself as a "tester" and a "punisher" of the one who gets a flunking grade on the test.

They become a SERIAL BULLY, turning everyone AGAINST EACH OTHER, getting one to BLAME THE OTHER for things.  A WITCH-HUNT often ensues, and people start becoming EXCLUSIVE with each other, pulling into little N n US groups.  The CON has thus dissolved the previous relationships and has successfully established relationships with EACH PERSON PLUS ONLY THE NARCISSIST.

The Narcissist also projects their own faults onto their victims, so that few of the victims friend's will listen to the victim either.  This can become so ruthless that the victim commits suicide, as they see their friends take the side of the ABUSER.

(be CAREFUL that your friends are TRUE ones and STICK WITH US HERE ON THIS BOARD, cause we will talk you thru any moments where you feel suicidal and many of us will pray with you through it all too!  STAY SAFE!)

[lighter]

Thanks for continueing to provide these helpful little posts, ReallyME.

[bigalspal]

Hi reallyMe,
What you have posted is so true!
My N mother used to band everyone against me.
If you think that's me being paranoid (being her child, I really DO have to watch this),
consider this: My aunt (her sister) & my mother used to be really close. Although, I NEVER understood WHY. My mother would berate her sister, calling her the "ugly sister", the less compassionless" one! ECT. Don't you know an N is ALWAYS the "saint" of the world. And my aunt is a truly wonderful person. The exact opposite of my mother.
Anyway, my mother cheated her sister & other family members out of ALOT of money.
So the family finally realizes how she really is & my aunt apologizes to me for not doing something to help me as a child.
It felt SOOOO good to finally have validation.
It really has helped me realize I'm not the awful person my mother always told me I was.
My hope is that EVERY child of an N gets to have that. It really changed my life!
Bigalspal

[innerquest]

Thank you reallyME!  We should never forget what N really is.  The moment we forgot, we start to have self doubts, since we are so use to look into ourselve to find faults.   Thank you!

[Ami]

IT is really horrible to realized that your own mother is a con artist and you are the one that she is trying to '"steal" from I started seeing that she"stalked" me like the animals on"Animal Planet."I  told her that it was not O.K.-- that she had to contact me by e mail.  She then turned the whole situation around. she  said that she would not contact me ANYMORE  b/c she could  not ALLOW me to be a victim.. I don't know if you can see the subtlety in this.However,with this incident I saw that she was trying to destroy my very notion of reality..She was trying to get me to doubt my eyes, feelings and gut reaction .In the end ,I was supposed to feel really ashamed of myself for being a victim. Also, I was supposed to exalt her for being so "wise" to show me the insight that I was a victim. Meanwhile , the whole time, SHE was victimiaing me.
    I see that she is a genius with it. She is very smart( and a therapist)_,and she uses her intelligence to get you to totally despise yourself The bottom line is that. I am so terrible b/c  I don't like her. She is the helpful therapist  is enlightening me and trying to help me from being a victim. Meanwhile, SHE is the abuser....  This is so awful. Do you see it? I was not hit,but I see that my very reality was stolen right from under my eyes. I am a self hating shell.   Tell me--- can you see how this is so bad-. I lost my mind.                         Love  Ami

[Hopalong]

Dear Ami,
How angry are you?

How about really seriously asking yourself: HOW ANGRY AM I ABOUT THIS?

Every day. Keep asking!

hugs
Hops

[reallyME]

bigal, you said: My N mother used to band everyone against me.
If you think that's me being paranoid (being her child, I really DO have to watch this),

I want to let you know that it's not you being paranoid.  That's what N's often do...it's a huge fear when you have to be with them for any length of time.  It happened to me.  X got people together and tried to tell them all about how I "acted" when I was with her.  OF course, later, after I talked to those people, and they told me what she said, I had a chance to tell what really went on and it all ADDED UP to them.  Thank the Lord.

Ami, I understand how you feel too.  In my case, X was withdrawing from contact with me, I was without my family, and it about drove me nuts.  WHen I was in a room crying for weeks, she basically told me that she couldn't give me what I wanted...comfort, etc...because it would just FEED this thing (my addiction to needing her to reach out) 

~L

[Ami]

THANK  YOU for the validation. am feeling so raw. Hops,I am so angry. I never felt "angry" before.It went in to my body. I am so angry that I ,literally, want her to go to hell and be there forever and ever and ever. I want to bully her and destroy her sick face. What do I do with this?
   Maria told me,today,"Get over it." She is right,but she did say that she never heard of anyone this bad when I told her about the situation in the post ,above
However, Maria is right,of course,but I think that I need to heal the way that I am doing on the board--- step by step. If not, I think that I will get sick, somehow. I just can't "get over it."I HAVE TRIED.
 Besee- You are so sweet. Thank you so much. it is so heart breaking to see her as "crazy"
 Laura- Thanks for understanding
Bigals pal--- We are in this togerther---Sister.

[Hopalong]

Good, Ami.
Now please find safe and healthy ways to release that anger
(nowhere near your mother).

As often as it rises, let it free.

hugs
Hops