Oh Beth, we all fall back into our respective traps at times. Partly it's because reacting comes a lot faster to us than processing, partly it's because of what tracks calls the 'emotional field' that comes with certain people and relationships... some families are anxious, some are blaming, some are frozen, some are all of these things, one kid gets the anxious part, one gets blame, one is frozen out.
The thing about the knowledge is that the more you know and the longer you know it and the more practice you have applying it the more it becomes like an emotion, instead of processing. You react from what you know more, and from what you feel less, or to say it better, maybe, what you know affects how you feel and that affects how you react. It stops being work and becomes a reflex.
Like having a black belt. Sort of.
Welcome home. You're not going to be very far from me, either. There are at least four of us within maybe 200 miles of each other... you, me, Bones, and mountainspring. I find that very comforting

.
I'm glad you're back, for very selfish reasons. You have helped me a lot here, too.