When I started this thread, I think that maybe what I really wanted to say was, " I am loveable. Why doesn't anybody love me? There must be someting wrong with me..." Everyday I read an entry from my book, "The language of letting go", by Melody Beattie. It is a recovery book giving one healing idea to read everyday of the year. I read it randomly and look for headings that fit what I feel that day. Today I read this. Thought it was valuable.......
We Are Loveable
Even if the most important person in you world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay.
Do you ever find yourself thinking: How could anyone possibly love me? For many of us, this a deeply ingrained belief that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thinking we are unloveable can sabotage our relationships with co-workers, friends, family members, and other loved ones. This belief can cause us to choose, or stay in, relationships that are less than we deserve because we don't believe we deserve better. We may become desperate and cling as if a particular person was our last chance at love. We may become defensive and push people away. We may withdraw or constantly overreact.
While growing up, many of us did not receive the unconditional love we deserved. Many of us were abandoned or neglected by important people in our life. We may have concluded that the reason we weren't loved was because we were unloveable. Blaming ourselves is an understandable reaction, but an inappropriate one. If others couldn't love us, or love us in ways that worked, that is not our fault. In recovery, we're learning to separate ourselves from the behavior of others. And we're learning to take responsibility for our healing, regardless of the people around us.
Just as we may have believed that we're unloveable, we can become skilled at practicing the belief that we are loveable. This new belief will improve the quality of our relationships. It will improve our most important relationship: our relationship with ourself. We will be able to let others love us and become open to the love and friendship we deserve.
Today, God, help me be aware of and release any self-defeating beliefs I have about being lovable. Help me practice this belief until it gets into my core and manifests itself in my relationships.
This helped me refocus my pain. I like the part about separating from the actions of others. As for today, I want to change worrying about what is wrong with me. And acknowledging that I am loveable and deserve the best kind of love.....gonna practice this one today.
-mof4
