Hi CH,
I think maybe we're just using different terminology. When he was seeking pity and envying the kids and seemingly divesting himself of power he was still seeking to control you and others by acting in a particular way to get you to respond in the way he desired. That is still control. It's more insidious than ranting and raving, but when it works it is still a method by which one person seeks to control their environment and those in it.
mud
Mud,
Yes, I see... and I think you're right. Toward the end, he would literally curl up on the bed in a fetal position... and I thought it was some form of regression - a consequence of depression. But thinking back to how quickly he snapped back into an agressive role, I have to agree... the childish routine was just that - a routine, an act - another attempt to gain control. Insidious indeed. Thank you!
Hope
