Virus analogy

[wiltay]

I'm still amazed by your responses and how on-point were your messages to me. Everyone who responded has obviously"been there" and that's not something I've experienced so acutely before,  even in group therapy.  I'm been thinking a lot lately about how much *I've* been here before, how the same type of situation keeps repeating itself in my life (in a brand new shape, only recognizable much later as the same old thing), how I keep finding the same kind of people or they keep finding me, despite my supposedly getting older and wiser and more discriminating.  An analogy occurs to me, how in order to be infected by a virus you (as the host cell)must have the matching receptor to the virus's injector(? I can't remember the terminology), otherwise nothing happens and you both go your separate ways untouched. The virus cannot replicate itself through you and you are not infected.  It's enough to make you paranoid, but I believe the answer is self-knowledge, an awareness of your vulnerabilities ( and why you're vulnerable) to a certain type of virus , in my case, the N-virus, and having the sense to avoid it.  Easier said than done.

Bill (aka wiltay)

[sally]

An analogy occurs to me, how in order to be infected by a virus you (as the host cell)must have the matching receptor to the virus's injector(? I can't remember the terminology), otherwise nothing happens and you both go your separate ways untouched. The virus cannot replicate itself through you and you are not infected.  It's enough to make you paranoid, but I believe the answer is self-knowledge, an awareness of your vulnerabilities ( and why you're vulnerable) to a certain type of virus , in my case, the N-virus, and having the sense to avoid it.  Easier said than done.

Hi Bill,

RIGHT ON!!!!  Beautiful analogy.  Yup, we must get rid of the receptors, otherwise, reinfection is repeated again& again & again....................

Love,
Sally

[Certain Hope]

Bill,

Exactly!
Some of those receptors may take a fair amount of digging to expose and root out or re-wire... especially if they're from childhood -
but it's worth the effort.

And in all fairness... some of these characters are awfully good fakers.
I believe you will have great success in identifying any changes you choose to make and working through those!

Hope

[wiltay]

Sally, in my view we'll have that receptor as long as we live, because that's the way we were made by our families and early life.  I'm not a big believer in western psychotherapy, which seems to imply that everything can be fixed or eliminated with the right tool, that we can be unmade and remade into someone else.  When our resistance is down, we'll always be vulnerable to the viruses that need us.  Strangely enough, I don't believe in the disease model either, because that implies that you can do little if you get infected and you can definitely do a lot IMO.  I don't mean to lecture.  I just find this stuff fascinating.
With love, Bill

[motheroffour]

So, if I am picking up what you are laying down......I think you are saying that nothing can be created or destroyed. That the condition of having a receptor for N's is permanent.   If we can't "uncreate" the receptor, then how do we heal in your view?   How do we get rid of the receptor or rewire it or change the nature of what we attract?

-- mof4

[wiltay]

Mof4,  I'm coming from a more "eastern," Buddha-like(?) view of things, where you attempt to understand the true nature of something before you even THINK about trying to change it.  (not to be political, but look at what the western approach did for us in Iraq!)  If you understand something deeply enough, you will know what to do, or *not* to do because it will be very plain.  I am not a guru, I am not wise, this is just common sense, all too lacking it seems in our culture.   But coming to understand something is constant work and you must have some humility.

"How do we get rid of the receptor or rewire it or change the nature of what we attract?"

       Mof4, I'm saying we can't do ANY of these things because they are beyond our control, but that it isn't necessary in order to free ourselves from (most of) the pain they cause.  "First know thyself."   Know your own needs and wants and vulnerabilities and the mistakes in judgment you make over and over again.  If you know yourself well and honestly I believe you will have emotional health, but it doesn't mean you can't get sick again.   Even healthy people catch the flu once in a while, but sick people are obviously the most vulnerable. 

    I am still very shaky on this, but I believe I can avoid future N-virus infections by my hard-won painful knowledge of what they look and feel like and my increased knowledge of why I am vulnerable to them.  I am a cell with a brain after all and *I* must make my receptor available for there to be an infection.  Thanks for your good questions, they make me think.  I  hope you find something of value in this.
Bill

[Ami]

Dear Bill,
     You are a welcome voice. I am glad that you are here                                 Warmly     Ami

[wiltay]

Thank you Ami, I appreciate your posts to me and I like what you have to say.
Bill