Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

hysterical crying fit

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write:
Hi Nic.
That's great your relationship is working out well; yes, it's very special to feel safe to cry with someone else.

I think having feelings for someone else has blocked me grieving for my lost marriage, I'm beginning to understand I can't not grieve or I'll carry all this pain with me.

Good things will happen for both of us, I am sure!

I would love to have someone to hold me some of the time, but I also know its time I stood alone for a while and reclaimed my independence. I'm reluctant to get into a new relationship, I know I am not myself yet and will change a lot over the next year.
It's hard balancing up that need for reassurance and comfort with the recognition that I don't want to use or hurt other people, or act out around them.
That's what I've seen friends do after a traumatic relationship breakup, and it seems a bad idea all round.

I'm new to all this relationship stuff too, I've been married for 20+ years.
( just read that back and there's an irony in that sentence! )

Have a great day everyone.

write:
ps never use mascara, but if I did I'd definitely use waterproof after this weekend!

Dawning:
I cried too tonight.  All this stuff about me moving and feeling isolated.  There is a part of me that needs to come up.  The crying is part of the voice.  I can't tell what would work and past memories and recent parent parental Nism feel so in the way.  Tonight, my friend and soul sex partner - told me to look at the painting he was drawing:  He said, "there was never anything on that space and I put something on it in a moments time and it was still nothing."  Very Asian.  But, all the years I have spent here, I understood that it made sense.  Anyway, it was raining those delicate little drops tonight and it is warm, no wind, and I rode my bike home with the rain mixing into my tears and then I turned on my computer and read this thread.  

I hope I can be a part of this group.  I hope I can get to the level where I can write it down right.  

Love,
Dawning.

write:
"there was never anything on that space and I put something on it in a moments time and it was still nothing." Very Asian. But, all the years I have spent here, I understood that it made sense. Anyway, it was raining those delicate little drops tonight and it is warm, no wind, and I rode my bike home with the rain mixing into my tears and then I turned on my computer and read this thread.

I hope I can be a part of this group. I hope I can get to the level where I can write it down right.

your writing evokes perfectly where you are and where you are at.
I'm glad you are here.

Dawning:

--- Quote ---your writing evokes perfectly where you are and where you are at.
I'm glad you are here.
--- End quote ---




Thank you.   :)

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