Dear Jacqueline,
My mother is your grandmother's age. When we were with her recently, it struck me that she was really out of the role... none of her usual grinning and silliness, like she puts on for a real audience.
Now if my brother had made an appearance at this time... (he recently gave her a fur coat)... I am sure she would have turned on the charm and giddiness, but I could see that she just doesn't have it in her to "waste" her routine on me and my family any more.
I'm sorry that you and your children are the brunt of this from your mother and grandmother, but when you think about it... maybe it's a sign that they've both resigned themselves to not being able to fool/manipulate/control you anymore. Not that they won't try... but they really don't expect to get anywhere. Personally, I count that a blessing.
Love to you,
Hope
