Hi Feline,
In reading your posts, it seems like you have so many reasons to be so disappointed and angry and with humans. Probably a bunch of other feelings, too. I truly hope that, by being here, you’ll find a few folks who aren’t so wicked and who can give you a little faith that there are some people out there who haven’t given in to the weaker aspects of humanity. I only say this because maybe then you could be feline while accepting the human parts of you – without being too hard on yourself. Because it sounds like you’ve worked hard to carve out the bad stuff and keep the good.
When I was in high school, I dreamed of someday living in Africa or India to study the big cats – especially tigers. I read a lot of books on how to survive off the land, researched the wildlife in various parts of the world, and learned about the climate conditions of the various regions. I wanted to get away from people back then, so the idea of being out in the wild, with maybe just my family to protect, was such a nice, safe place to be. I wasn’t at all afraid of being with tigers! I overheard my mom once talking about these dreams I had with a friend of hers: “Yeah, I know. We’re all hoping it’s just a phase and that she’ll grow out of this soon.” Ouch. And then, once, when mom dragged me along to go bird-watching with her boyfriend, I didn’t want to be with them so I stayed in the car. Mom put on her disgusted face and said, “Some naturalist you’ll be. You don’t even like to go outside.” Double-ouch. So I think I can begin to understand how hard it must be to hear people undermining what you want to achieve in life. It’s pretty stinky.
You may already know about this, (but I’d feel pretty awful if I found out you didn’t and I never said anything), but there’s a society of people who feel the way you do about people and about really identifying with a particular animal. Some are cats. Some are wolves. Pretty much any kind of animal. I don’t really know much more than that - just something I heard about a few months ago - but I was thinking that they could provide a lot of support for your feline side. Just wanted to mention it, just in case.
Anyway…welcome Feline
Wildflower
