Author Topic: Fight at work  (Read 2957 times)

Overcomer

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Fight at work
« on: August 01, 2007, 07:43:04 PM »
We have been in business for over 13 Years.  When we started I was not very computer saavy.  Everything I know I learned.  My mom has not learned a thing so she is constantly giving me things to do FOR HER-like attaching pics to an email or printing a word document off a floppy.  Today I told her to do it herself that I was not her secretary.  She threw the disk at me and I went off on her!  I laid into her.  She called of A slack and I called her a paper pusher!  I WAS YELLING & EMPLOYEES HEARD
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Overcomer

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2007, 07:47:20 PM »
Then I sold her I wanted her to retire and she said if I stepped up to the plate she would and I told her if she left I would step up to the plate.  I told her she would be  there a long time because I would not step up until she leaves!  Because if I try to step up with her there I will never do good enough for her so I will never put myself in that position.  She is such a BITCH!
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Ami

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2007, 08:00:50 PM »
Dear Kelly,
   It seems that when you work with an N, you are bound to be stuffing and stuffing( food metaphor) emotions. They are bound to come out. Be happy that you did not kill her(LOL).
 
                    Love  Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

mudpuppy

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2007, 09:16:40 PM »
OC,

What about calling her bluff? Put it in writing in a form you can tolerate, sign it and see if she will. Outline the responsibilities you will take over if she quits and maybe some (easy) goals to achieve. And she agrees in writing to butt the heck out permanently and there should be contractual punishments if she reneges and interferes.

If she signs, she's somewhat out of your hair. If she doesn't, at least you can wave it in front of her any time she starts squawking.
One thing is for sure; you will never, ever, ever have any peace working with an N. Ever. Did I mention never?

mud

lighter

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2007, 09:23:18 PM »
Overcomer.....

If you didn't get that off your chest.... I think you would have KA BOOMED!

Is this the discomfort that forces you to write that agreement Mud talks about? 

We'll see. 

Use that anger to make a move and.....

 it sure sounds like it's time for her to retire. 

Overcomer

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2007, 10:17:36 PM »
Well as you all probably know, Ns will not keep their side of the bargain so I am happy to work part time and not step up and set boundaries with a hatchet if need be.  I just will not allow her to treat me like her secretary because she is so incompetent to do it herself!  I asked one employee today if anyone has EVER told her she did a good job-and she said NOT BY YOUR MOM.  I said to my mom "if you only knew."
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Overcomer

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #6 on: August 03, 2007, 09:36:12 AM »
Ok so I guess I am feeling line of guilty.  Yes I started yelling at my mom but she is not without fault because she told me I walk around and do nothing!  That made me mad.  I guess I am functioning on automatic pilot.  I just do my job and avoid my mom.  She was right in part of the fight-she got me.  But I was yelling "I just want you to retire!"
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

lighter

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #7 on: August 03, 2007, 09:45:39 AM »
Whoooo Boy, Kelly.

She jerked your chain and you snapped.

I did the same with a sib, recently.

Now she walks around telling everyone I overreact to everything.

I don't know how to politely smile and ignore something crazy, like what your mother said to you, either. 

It's obviously a jab to get a response.

Why do we let them get the response they're looking for?

DANCE MONKEY DANCE... and we do, lol.

I know I'd feel better if I could just ignore it: /

::whispering::

but I can't. 

My biggest shame in it now is that my niece has been hypervigilant about running interferance between me and her mother. 

She gets in my face and begins manically asking me questions with a big smile on her face.... trying to distract from my pinning sib down: ( 



finding peace

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #8 on: August 03, 2007, 05:49:03 PM »
Hey OC,

Did you work today?  Hope it was better (or better yet - hope you had the day off!).

They are enough to drive you stark raving insane at times - aren't they?

Take care,
Peace
- Life is a journey not a destination

Bella_French

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #9 on: August 03, 2007, 06:01:47 PM »
I am proud of you for standing up to her. Good work Overcomer!

Overcomer

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2007, 07:18:51 PM »
Well I did work the last two days and neither of up apologized.  We just stayed clear of her.  I was PMSing and so when she tossed the floppy at me I saw red.  My dad even said to her that I might be hormonal and she has no period so she doesnt succumb to fluctuations.  she just gets mad if anyone doesnt jump when she says jump!
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

oc as guest

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #11 on: August 03, 2007, 08:21:18 PM »
Ok, so I have a computer so I can rant and rant.  What started it was she comes up to me and starts reading me and email.  No, she doesn't hand it to me and let me read it, no, she has to put her finger on the word and read the email word for word.....so I try to be patient.  Then she tells me that she took the diskette I gave her to take to Kinkos to Kinkos and they opened it up.  What it was was a template for a Policies and Procedures manual......it said (put your store name here.)  So she chose not to have it printed.  Well, the reason I had her print it was because she isn't very computer literate and I know her enough to want a hard copy of the manual so she can write all over it (and basically change the whole thing - same thing she does with my memos.....changes the whole thing - irks me!!!)  Anyway, so she hands me back the diskette and says she wants me to print it out.  Well inside the folder there were about 20 word files and my computer is really slow so I wasn't thrilled about sitting in my office for an hour printing out HER manual.  That is why I copied it to a disk for her.  So I told her.....why don't you put the disk into the computer and read the files and make changes as you are reading it?  She said, I don't know how to.  So I told her I was not her secretary and that I thought she needed to take a computer class so I didn't have to do all her grunt work.  And then I said that we hired my aunt to do all her grunt work.  So then she said, well, tell Aunt to do it and I said YOU tell aunt to do it.  She walked into my office (and my aunt was sitting right there)  and she said, if you won't do it for me just forget it and she tossed the disk on the desk.......I blew up!!!  It just infuriated me.  She sits in her office and writes to do lists, etc.  Then she wants ME to actually DO the lists.  So I told her, "Mom?  I am going to treat you like you treat me."  "What are these books here?  Aren't you supposed to give these to pastors??"  "THen aren't you supposed to fill out a form listing who you gave them to and fax it in??"  "Why haven't you done that yet?"  Well, can you imagine an N being put on the spot like that???  I told her that all I ever saw her doing was pushing paper back and forth.  And she told me all I do is walk around.  I didn't say it but I wanted to yell, "Haven't you read the One Minute Manager??"  They talk about managing while walking around.....touching the employees, encouraging the employees.  Our employees hate my mom.  They never EVER get any positive feedback from her.....she is such a B - I you know what!!!!!

teartracks

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #12 on: August 03, 2007, 08:29:36 PM »


OC,

Ah...what a work mess.   Not fun and it must feel to you that you'll never see the end of it.  :(  I like Mud's council.  I also agree that N's never get it. 

tt

Ami

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #13 on: August 03, 2007, 08:37:08 PM »
Dear Kelly,
  I am sorry that it is so stressful with your M. I think that you are doing really well containing yourself. One (good?) thing with N's is that there is so much drama that they forget the last crisis -fast.(Unless you have the type of N that hangs on to everything, forever)  .Your M sounds like the type that is on to the next crisis fast(if I am not mistaken)
   (((((((((((((((((((((Kelly)))))))))))))))                            Love  Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

finding peace

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Re: Fight at work
« Reply #14 on: August 03, 2007, 09:03:14 PM »

Oh do I know that feeling – they can be completely rip-your-hair-out, bang your head against the wall, scream yourself hoarse, frustrating at times.   :x

(I often tell my husband it is a miracle I am not permanently bald.)

I hope this doesn’t sound like one of those conciliatory pats on the head (not meant that way at all) - I am praying for you that she retires soon, and that you won’t have to put up with the BS much longer.

((((((Hang in there))))))
- Life is a journey not a destination